Finally, it happened.  I just got home a little while ago from adopting a black kitten. I’ve been really discouraged b/c I haven’t seen any at the shelter. I wanted one born after Gotham’s passing, so I was looking for a kitten about 10–12 weeks. I was kind of horrified to see one listed that was 6 weeks old and neutered today (WTF???) and made sure I did my best to get him. I have an appointment with my vet next Wednesday to get him checked out and make sure no damage was done. Poor thing is only 1.6lbs!!! How can you neuter something so young and small??? I just had to give him a good home.

So far Stuart isn’t sure what’s going on, but he knows he doesn’t like it (maybe now he knows how Gotham felt when he barged in?). They haven’t met yet, I secreted the kitten into the same small room Stuart started out in. I put down wet kitten food, dry kitten food and water. I looked at my litter boxes and thought “No way. There’s just no way he can get in that”. I ended up grabbing a shoe box lid and putting litter in it hoping it will work.

I’m guessing he doesn’t feel good from being neutered today and coming to a new home….so he’s hiding in his room somewhere and I can’t find him. I saw what looked like foot prints in the litter when I peeped in earlier, so I know he’s in there and ok (so far).

So, what is his name? Well, I know I can’t top Gotham as far as a badass name goes, but I wanted to stay in the Bat Family. I didn’t want to go with something obvious, so I landed on “Matches Malone”. I may call him “Bats” for short, but we’ll see.

Wish me luck in a) Finding him, b) making sure he’s happy and healthy and c) getting him acquainted with Stuart so they can be best friends.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

I’m not sure what it is about this weekend (Easter), but I usually enjoy it. I’m not religious by any means and for sure don’t go to church or celebrate, but there is just something about about it that’s peaceful. For some reason, Good Friday is always a work holiday, so if the weather is nice, as it is today, I get to throw open all the windows, air out the house and really get the feel of springtime in here.  It’s time to change it up a bit around the house. Rearrange furniture, change out my candles to different scents, bring out the springtime patterned sheets, hang some pictures….

I looked at couches last weekend and narrowed my picks down to about 5. I just can’t seem to pull the trigger. I need to measure my doorways to make sure whichever one I choose can be delivered properly. By the way, when did sofas get so expensive???  Next, I’ll need to look at fridges. 😳

I’m hoping to take another carload of donations over tomorrow morning and I’m still checking the Humane Society website constantly for a male black shorthair cat, but other than that, it’s just a regular weekend of chores, with maybe some cleaning out of cupboards thrown in. 

Oh, yeah…and pizza. I usually only eat it twice a year or so and one of those times is often either yesterday or today! I didn’t have it yesterday, so I may place an order and walk over to pick it up later today. I love pizza and could eat it all the time, but I don’t want to ever get tired of it (or ruin my health) so a couple times a year is good. Unless someone is here wants it of course. I’m not going to say no if someone else wants it, lol.

I still miss my handsome Gotham so much, it’s gotten a little easier, but I still feel that void. The kitten, while adorable, is a jerk! He sometimes comes up to me very slowly, lifts his paw up (again, verrrrry slowly) and hits me hard across the face and runs away! He’ll bite my hand while playing and then slap me a bunch of times if I snatch it back. He’s a menace, lol! I’m amazed how flexible and acrobatic he is. He launches himself all over the place while playing with his toys, tumbling backwards, forwards, sideways..arms and legs splayed wide like Spiderman. It’s hysterical.

More later.

Happy Birthday CBLMW, I know your future is bright and I hope all your wishes come true. This next year will be a truly amazing year for you, I can feel it.

I have to admit it, aside from the state of the world, the economy, work, etc., personal life-wise, 2023 has been a really challenging year for me. Having to make the end of life decision for Gotham has affected me so much more than I ever thought it would (I’m the one with a heart of ice, remember? LOL!). Because of the acute sense of guilt I feel, I’m always aware of an underlying low grade sadness present within me at all times. The random every day crying has stopped though, which is good. I still find myself crying every once in a while but it’s no longer hampering my every day life. I’ve been told it’s normal to go through this, especially when you’ve had a pet/companion for as long as I did. 16 1/2 years with the most perfect sassy asshole cat is a long time. I miss him so much.

The kitten I adopted in December, hoping to rejuvenate Gotham a little (didn’t work, he fucking hated him) and to help get me through losing him when the time came, has been a mixed bag. I took the advice other people gave me and didn’t get a black kitten, I got a precious short-haired tabby cat with the biggest eyes and ears I’ve ever seen and loudest purrs I’ve ever heard.  I don’t know if it’s a result of my grief, but I don’t **love** him yet. I **like** him very much, but I don’t love him. He’s just such a different personality. This cat doesn’t really talk to me, bump heads or nuzzle. He does however get into everything! Cupboards, sinks, toilets, boxes, drawers….everything.  He’s also either full speed racing around knocking things over (or pulling living room curtains down! He also climbs up my pants leg while I’m wearing them!) or he’s dead asleep, exhausted from all the chaos he’s caused.  I’m about to change his name to Conan The Destroyer, LOL! He is also weirdly obsessed with the toilet, whether you’re using it or not!

I’ve made a point of giving the Master of Destruction lots of affection and love, even if my heart isn’t totally into it, it’s not his fault my heart is still mending. He’s helping get me through this and I’m grateful. Plus, he’s just so adorable.  

I’ve read that having 2 cats will help calm rambunctious cats down and I really miss having a black cat, so I’m going to start looking at black shelter kittens starting 3/23.  I know whichever kitten chooses me won’t be the same as Gotham, but it will be nice to have another mini panther around the house….and someone to calm the kitten the fuck down!

Well, it’s another rainy Saturday, so we’re going to hang out around the house and ignore all the chores that need to get done!

Well, it’s been 3 days and it hasn’t gotten any easier. I’m pretty much a mess, crying at random things. Going to work helps distract me a little, but I still come home to the memories. Oddly, the responsibility of having the kitten keeps me going. Having to feed him and clean the cat box has been something to drive me forward. There’s no one else to do it. He doesn’t know what’s going on, he only lived with Gotham for about 5-6 weeks. Luckily, not a lot of people have been in the office this week, I’ve been a hot mess. Between the crying, minimal make up, wrinkled clothes and hair scraped back into a ponytail… I’ve been fortunate that the folks who have been there are animal lovers and understand and give me random hugs during the day when I need it. Right now I’m looking for a lockable wooden box to put him cremains and favorite toys, collar, etc. into once I get the word the cremains are ready to be picked-up. I’d like to also get the top engraved or have a nice metal plate engraved and attached to it. I’ve decided that I will be getting another black cat in a couple of months. I know it sounds silly, but just in case spirits do exist, I’m going to wait for one to find me that was born on or after 1/23/23. There will never be a companion like Gotham. It’s still raw and hurts so much. I’m reading books to help. One day at a time, right?

I knew this day was coming. Gotham is gone. 1.23.2023. Almost 16 1/2 years old. Just got home from the vet and I am utterly broken. Decimated. Destroyed. I can’t stop crying. The kitten doesn’t know what’s going on, so he’s no comfort. He’s chewing on cords. 

I loved Gotham so much. It’s hard to understand if you’ve never had a pet you were as connected to as I was to him. Part of me is gone.  He just wasn’t getting better and was skin and bones. I tried everything, but his kidneys were done.

Taking tomorrow off work. I’m in no shape to go in, but I don’t know what to do with myself either.

To say I’m going to miss him seems inadequate. Again, I loved that cat more than anything.

I’m just broken and sad. 

Well, I had to cancel my usual trip to visit my folks for Christmas. 

Unfortunately, the vet gave me the news I was expecting, but just not this soon, Gotham’s kidney issues have gotten markedly worse and he found a mass on his lower left tummy area. I asked him if we were looking at a couple of years and he said “weeks, months max”. I’d taken him in as the appetite stimulant was finished and he’d stopped eating again. Well, he ate, but only a few bites. He gave me some steroid pills to give him and asked that I come back in 2 weeks. We went back and he’d made some improvement, but not much.

We decided to give him a steroid injection instead of the pills and I went home. Everything seemed fine until I got home the next night. I walked in the door and he took a while coming to where I was. When he finally came in the room, he looked weird. His head was crooked and was walking oddly. He looked at me, but looked blank. He managed to get on the bed and laid down, but looked really flat and wasn’t breathing much and didn’t raise his head. I put some treats dow, but he ignored them. I thought I was losing him. I spent a couple of hours telling him what a good boy he is and he could go now.

After a while, I guess he heard a noise and lifted his head. I pushed a treat towards him and he ate it. Then he stood up and ate the whole pile of treats. Slowly he started to get back to normal. I don’t know if he was having a reaction to the injection or a seizure or stroke or what. What I decided at that moment is, if he starts failing like that, I’m going to keep him at home where he is comfortable and loved.

I’ve had this silly cat for 16 years and he’s just the best. Going to the vet really agitates him and makes him so unhappy. I wish he would eat more though.

Now, I’m aware time is short. I don’t want to deal with losing him in an empty house….so I adopted an 8-week old kitten. And Gotham fucking hates him! In fact, I think the hatred is what’s keeping him alive. So far I’ve kept them separate, apart from trying to introduce them last Sunday. It resulted in a guttural growl and hissing from Gotham, lol! The kitten is MAYBE 2lbs!!! So scary! I’ll try again this weekend. I got him a week ago today and the papers said to wait a week to introduce them anyway.

This kitten is a teeny, tiny monster! His micro-poops and pees smell worse than anything that ever came out of Gotham, lol! I have him closed off in the sun room and it constantly sounds like he’s tearing the joint apart! He is literally the size of my palms! I noticed him eyeing the curtains and just bought nail clippers. He’s very sweet though.

Anyway, I didn’t feel like I could leave for a trip. Plus, we moved our office to the new location last week and some clients have waited until the last minute to get me year-end paperwork. I guess I’ll see my parents in either January or February. Probably January. I have a short business trip in February and I may take a couple of days off beforehand.

Who knows?

I love this darn cat so much (he’s right here). Christmas here at home will be fine! I can’t believe it’s supposed to be 81F though!!!

Enjoy your weekend everyone. Darn! I forgot the Christmas roast in the work fridge! I’ll get it tomorrow morning. It’s a better fridge than mine anyway.