I'm confused these days. My instincts are usually fairly accurate (not anywhere near perfect, but sometimes accurate). I'm not sure how to feel, so, of course, I end-up feeling terrible. Which I do right now.

I had a birthday recently and, weirdly, this year was better than what I've experienced in a long time.  Even though I just started my job, most of the folks at work who found out either gave me a card or a gift. It wasn't necessary, but it touched my heart. One of my brokers brought me breakfast, took me to lunch AND (the best part) smoked me a rack of ribs and gave me beer to go with it.  I'm really not into gifts or money, so the fact that he spent time and his immeasurable talent, making food for me honestly made me tear-up. I was, and still am, deeply touched.

Tonight I went out with Samantha and David for dinner at EC's. Danny (bartender) flirted with me, which was nice since I feel fat and old. The drinks and food were amazing.

I may be old and single (old maid, party of one), but I love my friends.

I am truly fortunate.

So far the holiday weekend is going well. I decided to not wait for my friends to make time in their schedules and saw X-Men: Apocalypse by myself this morning at the first showing. Good movie, if not a bit under-developed in some areas.

I've had some car issues, so I took it up to the dealer yesterday to have them check it out. Thankfully, I got it back today. Parking in my neighborhood is too difficult with just a visitor pass, so I'm glad to have my car back so quickly.

The folks are in-town, so I am going to meet them for dinner tomorrow night. Should be fun. I think I'm going to bake something for my dad before I head out.  I have a ton of errands to run before I meet them at their hotel, so I have to really try to keep to the schedule I wrote out.

Monday, I am walking in a charity 5-K walk for disabled veterans, then I have to go to breakfast with our team (that's a new, unexpected development), then hook up with a friend of mine to celebrate her birthday.

Yikes! It's gonna be a tight schedule!

Luckily, part of the birthday celebrations for my friend includes pedicures.....which, while I don't need it, I'm defitely looking forward to it.

I hope it's not hot the next few days......

My self confidence, the little I had anyway, took a big hit yesterday. Not my confidence in my ability to do my job (that's fine), my personal self confidence. All it took was a couple of comments over lunch. I'm sure they weren't serious and it wasn't a situation where the other person was being mean on purpose. In fact, the person who made them said they were kidding, and I'm sure they were, but I was crushed. I still am.

I'm sure I will get over it, but its going to take some time. I'll pretend like nothing happened and that things are fine, but, honestly, they're not.

I woke up and a little while ago (out of the blue) and decided to check my email and happened to notice a daily email from an Australian paper that contained some big news for oldies like me.....

Midnight Oil is reforming and planning a world tour in 2017!!!!

Anyone who even remotely knows me will be aware that this is a VERY big deal.  The Oils are one of only three bands that I will 1) see on a weeknight no matter what, 2) will see at a venue that's general admission and 3) will travel to shows not in my area.

The Oils haven't toured since 2001 (Peter Garrett being in Parliament sort of broke the band up) so it's been 15 years since the last time I saw them live. No word on if there will be a new album or if they are gonna just play from the existing catalogue. They have a huge bank of music to draw from, so, no matter what. The shows are gonna be awesome.

Fuck yeah bitches, I'm excited!!!!! (And I don't get excited about much!).

It's gonna be a good day today!!!!!

Well folks, I did it. I passed my licensing exam!  I got a score of 82%, which blows my mind.  I thought for sure I was failing it when I was halfway through.  Imagine my shock when I saw I passed with such a high score....

I honestly hope I do not have to get any more licenses, the stress sucked!

The countdown is on and I'm really freaked and stressed out.

I take my next licensing exam this next Saturday and I'm not at all confident that I'm going to pass.  I've been studying a lot since January 28th (when I got my online access), but nothing seems to be sinking-in.  Every time I open the book and start-up the online lectures, it's like the first time I'm hearing/reading it.  Yesterday alone, I studied for about seven hours.  Today will probably be about the same, then Monday through Friday I'll spend each afternoon/evening taking the online final exams.

This thing is at the back of my mind all day, every day.  I always think I should be studying, so then I get stressed out when I'm not. My friends know I have problems sleeping and this hasn't helped.

It's been tough studying for the exam, plus learning a new job and trying to get every day stuff done.  It turns out that I was supposed to have been able to study at work for at least an hour each day, but I didn't find out until after we were well into March. Plus, with the folks I work with, I wouldn't have had the chance anyway.

I need to pass this exam for my job, so I hope that, when the time comes, I'll be able to pull the information out when I need it and that this time next week I will have my new license.

Fingers-crossed!!!

I got up early this morning, stripped the bed and got the laundry done. Like I said, every day stuff doesn't stop just because I have an exam.  I still have to put clean sheets back on the bed, once I have aired the mattress out, folded the clothes I got out of the dryer, put everything away.  Then I will crack the books.

My place smells like Gain from all the clothes I have hang drying all over the place. It smells good.

Once I'm done with this test, I really need to deep clean my apartment. It's gross here. Plus I have things I need to return to the outlet mall. I should probably look at the receipt and see how long I have. Either that or I have to lose a bunch of weight to fit into the pants I got. I hate that stores aren't consistent with their sizing. And I hate the fact that I'm fat.

I feel scattered! Sorry if this post was disjointed.