I'm probably not going to express this stuff very eloquently, but I'll try.

I don't mean to sound dramatic (for once), but I am truly worried about the state of affairs with the government, our tenuous grasp on the rights of ALL American citizens and the incomprehensible support hatred is gaining in this country.

I'm horrified that the racist, sexist, bigoted actions people are getting away with have somehow become acceptable and normal. It. Is. Not. Right.

Everything that has been fought for by our parents, grand parents and great-grandparents is slipping away. Is segregation going to come back? Will women and minorities lose the right to vote? Will the right to choose get tossed? Will gay marriage be repealed? A year ago, I would have scoffed and said "no way, never happen", but in a Trump world, I just don't know any more. Everything is topsy-turvy and ugly. Trans rights are being taken away as I type, minorities are too afraid to report crimes against them for fear of deportation. Who or what is going to be next? That is an all too real, frightening question!

I get so frustrated when I look at the results of simple poll questions on presumably liberal websites and the results are far too close, when they should be decisive on the side of (what I feel) is right. Questions similar to "do you feel the president is doing a good job responding to the events in Charlotte?" The results were something like "Yes - 47%, No - 43% I don't know 10%". WTF??!!!??

What can we do? What can "I" do? Is my country really filled with horrible people?

I choose to keep believing that it isn't, but it's getting harder each day to keep that belief in check.  This past weekend a bunch of us from work lent a hand to Habitat for Humanity to work on houses for deserving families. Seeing all of us working together for something good helps, but there are so many people out there who would gladly destroy all that good.... it's disheartening.

Plus, they didn't let me use a nail gun, can you believe that??!!?? Oh, yeah, probably a good idea, right?

Feeling very melancholic this afternoon.  All of a sudden I've started thinking about stuff I usually push to the back of my mind and ignore.

I've had great results with the migraine situation, the course of magnesium supplements I have been taking and having deleted all the prescriptions that made me crazy, mean and nasty out of my routine. I'm just heartbroken that my behavior while I was taking them was so bad that, last Fall, I alienated and lost someone who was so important to me.

It sucks to reconnect with someone from your past and have them not reconnect with the "real" you.  Does that make sense?  My intentions were good, my choices to be proactive, smart and safe made a lot of sense, but the results were disastrous.

I know I've apologized before and sound like a broken record, but this weighs heavily on my mind.  I try not to have regrets, but I have them.

If you're reading this, once again, I'm sorry. Maybe one day we'll be able to hit the reset button and try getting reacquainted again.

Crap, my Fit Bit just buzzed to harrass me into walking 250 steps. Gah!

My. Feet. Hurt.

I met some friends in Santa Monica yesterday morning and we went walking. And walking. And WALKING. It was fun, but my total miles walked for the day was 8.51.  Sure, we stopped at Shutters afterwards for a small (expensive) snack and a bellini....then went to the Kingshead after that for lunch and a Boddingtons. Then we elaxed for a while and had a great conversation about world politics with an Aussie expat.

By the time I got home though, I was spent.  I showered, changed and collapsed. I slept 10 solid hours!!!

Today (so far), I've done a couple of chores, gone out to LA for a pedicure and now I'm sitting in a waiting room for my contacts appointment. That was supposed to start (looking at my watch) 35 minutes ago. This place is slllloooooowwww.

I still have loads to do, but I'm not sure I'll get much done. I'd really like to have a nice salad for a late lunch/ early dinner and then lay around for the rest of the day.

I'm not used to this "active" stuff. I prefer being on the couch, lol.

Help, my Fit Bit is hassling me!!  I love it though.  I'm getting in loads of steps most days, which is awesome.  However, I have to say, I'm more than a little peeved that I didn't get "step" credit whenever I rowed (paddled? Stroked? Pulled?) the oar in the kayak I used this weekend. No fair! I worked that oar!!!

It was such a good idea, go down to Huntington Beach early this past Saturday with my friend Samantha, rent kayaks and explore the area. You get to exercise WHILE sitting down! Awesome, right?  The weather was cool and breezy and it was as easy kayaking as I remembered it to be, but not getting any steps logged, WTF??!!?? We were on the water for a couple of hours and had a great time though. Enough of a great time that we acted like the true midle-aged ladies we are and went down to Newport Beach to the Rusty Pelican bar for lunch and cocktails, lol! We couldn't be cougars though, we were the only ones in the bar, HA!!

I went to a new eye doctor and I've finally accepted the fact I have to get bifocals. I'M OLD!!!  I got the new fangled progressive lenses though. And transitions, so they get darker in the sun. I'm turning into my parents, aren't I?  Good news though, after almost wrecking my eyes the last time I had contacts, it appears all of the damage has been repaired and I'm back to being a candidate for them. I'm going in when I pick up my glasses to see about getting fitted for them (or whatever they call it).  Only bummer is that I'll still have to wear reading glasses with them if I want to read my phone (or a book). Luckily, I have about six pairs already, lol.

As per usual for this time of year, I'm on a media break. I just don't want to read/hear/see things about SDCC.  I guess I'm not as detached as I thought I was. I miss it.

Okay, so as you guys know, I started on this daily migraine prevention medication in late November of last year. Well, it worked really well for a while. No migraines, just headaches. Easy to live with and I wasn't a horrible, angry bitch anymore! Win-win for everyone!!!  Then, when I worked-up to the dosage my doctor wanted me to be on, I started noticing some really crummy side effects. They were tolerable, but shitty.

In the meantime, I went to new "lady" doctor as my normal doctor for that stuff retired last December (I miss him! I started going to him WAY back when I was 20). Anyway, this new doc was very much a "whole body wellness" driven kind of gal (first-ever woman doctor for me!).

As I briefly mentioned in an earlier post, when I went in for my appointment with her, we spent a LONG time going over the few prescriptions I take (two daily, two "as needed") and all the supplements I take (Niacin, Vitamin D, B-6, B-12, Fish Oil and Flaxseed Oil). She then asked about the things I was taking medication for, chiefly, the migraines. She was horrified that I was taking one of the daily Medes (not for migraines) and she took me off it pronto. The make-up of the pill, according to her, was way too high for someone with my type of migraines (I neglected to tell her that it was a recent "downgrade" to lower levels, as advised by my neurologist). Then she asked how I liked the daily preventative med. I told her I REALLY didn't care for the side effects, but they were super good to start and now the migraines were trying to creep back in, always in the middle of the night. This was tolerable as I usually woke up at the onset, took an "as needed" pill and went back to sleep.  She recommended that I research what I was taking and to think about going off it and replacing it with magnesium supplements. Turns out that you can't test someone's magnesium levels with normal blood tests, but people taken to the hospital for migraines routinely tested low in magnesium in their spinal fluid and their brain. The reason blood tests don't work is that we store it in different places that don't show-up on those tests. Women tested especially low.

I waited a while to do the research and make a decision. If you know me well, you know I don't like taking prescriptions ......The thing is, the main side effect of the preventative pill is weight gain (body and chest in both female AND males). If you know me, you know how I am with both those types of weight gain. I put on a solid 15-20lbs. Instead of quitting the script, right after my birthday I decided to keep taking it and just go back on my old Weight Watchers program to lose the extra weight. I can't weigh myself (I have issues!), so I was using a tight pair of pants as my gauge. Well, Weight Watchers has always been the ace up my sleeve, so I went back on program diligently. I waited 5 weeks and I went to put on those formerly tight pants, I expected to be able to fasten them up easily. NO. SUCH. LUCK. I couldn't even put them on!!! I GAINED weight on a restricted calorie plan! That sucked ass and, I'll be honest, I teared-up.

So I decided to stop going to the neurologist, phase out the script slowly and work the magnesium into my routine.  The magnesium takes about a month to six weeks to take effect, so by the time I'm done with the other stuff next week, I should be seeing a difference.

In the meantime, I'm still on program, plus I got a Fit Bit and a Pilates chair. I get buzzed at if I don't take enough steps in an hour, which is annoying. I'm not up to 10,000 steps a day (I just got it Sunday...today is Tuesday), but I'm averaging 1,000 steps more each day. I was over 8,000 today and should be at 10,000 tomorrow. Not bad for day 3 of having the thing, right.? I don't feel healthy at this size, I want to be back to a size four, maybe six.

Keep positive thoughts for me!!!

Well, I still have remnants of being sick, but I think I'm just about better. Yay!

It's been so warm lately, I took advantage of the fact that my folks were (sort of) in the area (not really) and drove up to visit them at their hotel in Oxnard. Surprisingly, it was 90 degrees there, which is kind of unusual. Still, it was 109 where I live, so it was a bit cooler. Plus, they had a/c in their suite AND took me to lunch.  The parents are doing well. I got to hang out with my dad for a few hours, which is always fun.

It was still warm when I got home, so I did something I've never done before....I took a towel, drenched it in water and wiped down the cat. He was NOT happy with me! I set him in front of a fan and he promptly got comfortable, so I think he kinda liked it.  Poor guy doesn't have a choice, he HAS to wear his fur coat every day, heat or no heat.

I have a nice, easy weekend ahead of me. Smog check (maybe), then lunch with a friend Saturday, followed by a visit to a numerologist (birthday gift) and on Sunday I may head out to the Kingshead in Santa Monica for lunch. Not sure about Sunday though. It all depends on if I'm driving or not. If not, it's Santa Monica for Bodington's on tap. If yes, then it's me walking to the local tavern for salad and red ale, lol. Heck, I may stay home, who knows? 😆

Things around here have been going okay. Nothing too exciting. I hope the numerologist has some pearls of wisdom for me.