There's no other way to put it, but it has been an awful and surreal time. The scariest part? I've heard from A LOT of people that they are just laying low and waiting for things to go back to "normal" when "things die down". I hope, more than anything, that things DON'T go back to "normal". I hope that it really is different this time. That change does happen. That people remember their anger and take it to the voting booth in November.

The only breaks I've had from the darkness was my birthday and a co-workers birthday. (**NOTE/EDIT: I need to insert here that everything at work was socially distanced. I neglected to mention that when I first posted this entry. We followed the rules folks! Our office is pretty big for the number of us who go in and we all either face different directions or are in offices. The closest person to me is 20 feet away. So don’t get mad or scared, we did the right thing!! Plus, it’s been about 3-4 weeks and no one is sick. Thanks!)

I couldn't believe it, my friends at work threw me a huge birthday party. I was depressed about societal hatred, the pandemic and hitting this terribly old sounding milestone. I actually cried at what they did, I was so touched. A taco truck catered the food, along with other delicious offerings from my co-workers, a former bar-tender on our team made us the most kick-ass margaritas I've ever had and then there were the gifts. So thoughtful. Like I said, I cried. I never make a big deal about my birthday, so for them to do this touched me. Then, my closest friend came out to celebrate my birthday. It's funny, they asked me what I wanted for dinner, thinking I might pick something fancy, and all I said was "is Bakers open? Can you bring me my favorites?". I've known them for just about 30 years, so they knew what to do! Bakers is a fast food place out in the Inland Empire, where they live, that have Mexican and American food. We ate delicious fast food, had a cocktail and watched Mad Men. They made me (knowing I love lemon) a lemon pound-type cake with lemon glaze and lemon curd. Oh. My. Gosh. It ALMOST made getting old worth it.

A co-workers birthday was the following week and it was up to me to provide the desserts. She told me she doesn't like cake, but that's it. I asked her to let me know what she wanted, but I never heard back. I took it upon myself to find stuff to make that she might like. My kitchen is my happy place when I'm baking, so I'm a little ashamed to say that it was a welcome respite. I decided to make mini cheesecakes, mini lemon tarts and mini chocolate cheesecakes with chocolate cookie crusts, chocolate ganache and chocolate shavings on top. Now, I pretty much don't eat the things I make (I have a co-worker that I make eat one of everything first so that I know no one will get sick), but I did try the chocolate cheesecake after I was told by a lot of folks it was their favorite. It was good! I'm going to try to post photos below. We had a big party for her too. She is invaluable and lovely to work with. It was a pleasure to celebrate!

After all that, it was back to reality. I'm trying everything I can to be a part of the change. To continue to try and make sure people vote. To preach that hatred and being unkind is NOT okay. I'm going to continue the work. I hope you will too.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy.