Happy Birthday CBLMW, as always I wish you all the best life has to offer. You are a special person and deserve it.

This is probably going to be a downer of a post.

 Feeling melancholy lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind the last couple of months or so. 

A few of you know I take my handsome senior boy to the vet every January to make sure his kidney issues and hypertension haven’t progressed too much. In this years visit, I told the vet he seemed skinny and I feel more and more bones when I cuddle/pet him. He doesn’t like to finish his food most of the time, even though he yells at me to feed him. The vet looked concerned, which is rare for him.  Turns out, he’d lost quite a bit of weight since last years’ appointment, but it’s hard to tell when you see something every day.

The vet told me to put him on emergency/urgent diet prescription canned food. It’s supposed to stimulate his appetite somehow and encourage him to eat. He seemed to like the two cans the vet gave me, so I breathed a sigh of relief and ordered a case (at $73, this stuff is pricey, but for my cat, I’ll manage). As soon as it arrived, I busted one can open and put out a generous helping. He ignored it, and apart from a few bites here and there, has ever since.

I feel so helpless, begging him to eat, only to have him bump my forehead and walk away.  I leave the plate out, adding a little water every now and then in case he goes back to it. After a few hours, I give up and wash the dish so it’s clean for the next meal. I’m sad to be wasting cat food every day, trying to entice him to eat. I’ll do whatever it takes, but I know that kidney problems tend to make cats nauseous, which is why they don’t eat. He still enjoys his cat treats, so instead of always tossing them on the floor/bed, I toss them into his bowl of dry food a few times a day with the hope he will eat some of that while he’s there.

He’s normal in every other way. Plays like a kitten and acts like an asshole, lol. Quality of life is still there, thank goodness. His new habit of yelling at me between 11:30pm-2am every night to feed him (right in my face while I’m sleeping!) is annoying, but I get up and do it, because I’m glad he wants to eat, even if he doesn’t finish what I give him.

He still gets around great and jumps all over the furniture and his ginormous cat condo too. I’ve noticed he slips with his back feet sometimes, but I don’t know if he’s always done that or if I’m just hypersensitive to things being wrong.

He’ll be 16 in a couple of months, so I know he won’t be around forever, which is completely and totally heartbreaking. Still my handsome boy though, thank goodness. I hope he hangs around for a while more. As I type this, he’s laying against me, purring loudly and being just the best boy. 

I took this picture a couple of weeks ago and thought I’d post it, he DOES love his velvety throne!:

Apart from being thinner than usual and two white whiskers, he looks the same as always. It’s funny, I was looking through the thousands of photos on my phone and probably more than half are of him! 

Fingers-crossed he hangs around for a while so I can take thousands more.

❤️❤️

I’m not going to talk about world events here, there are better forums for that. ❤️🇺🇦

So, since I’ll be ending physical therapy at the end of March (health insurance deductible resets and I’ll have to pay 100% until the $3,000 deductible is met. I hate my insurance plan, but we don’t get a choice), I decided to get a piece of fitness equipment that will help keep my shoulder from getting messed-up again. Now, I don’t have a ton of space and needed to get something that I might find fun, so I got an inexpensive rowing machine. My physical therapist said it was a good idea, so I was excited. I’d missed out on getting a basic pilates style Total Gym when it was on sale for less than $300 and regret I’d waited too long. The rower has great reviews everywhere I saw it and arrived super fast. Plus, it was even cheaper than the Total Gym had been and the exercises are better suited for my shoulder.

This thing was a bear to assemble! They called the parts different names in the instructions vs the pack they came in and the tools didn’t fit the spaces they were supposed to be used in, lol!  I was catching up on Conan’s podcast, so I wasn’t too bothered it was taking a while.

I was going to keep it in the bedroom, where I have the most free floor space, but, for now, it’s in the living room. That way, I can use it during the day if I’m working from home and maybe spend more time in that part of the house.

I’ve been back in the office most days the last couple of weeks, which I like. It’s been weird working from home so much, when I’d been able to go in for most of the pandemic.  To have been sent home late December/early January wasn’t fun.

My company is going to start bringing folks back in mid-March, so I thought I should get used to waking up and leaving for work at the proper time now vs taking only 15 mins to get dressed/ready and walking to the living room.  Plus, my plate is really full work-wise and when it gets like this, it’s just easier being in the office.

I will say though, having the option to work remotely is rad. Last week, I went out to my car to go to work and my car wouldn’t turn on. At. All. It was really early, so I couldn’t call the dealer and didn’t want to call AAA, so I plugged the laptop into my station at home and worked until I got everything fixed. I was able to use that waiting time instead of wasting it!  Too bad I stayed in work clothes all day, sweats would have been better, HA!

It’s supposed to be hot Tues, Weds and Thurs, so I’m looking forward to free a/c at the office. It’s the little things, take the joys wherever you find them.

Be kind to each other and help where you can, if you can. 

Hey Everyone!  So, it's been a few months since I posted last, sorry.  I've been meaning to reflect on the year, but just haven't done it. I don't have any excuses to give, I just haven't done it.

How was 2021?  I'm torn.  I've had it better than a lot of people.  I'm very fortunate in that I have a roof over my head, a job I enjoy and my friends and family are healthy.  Does this mean there haven't been challenges?  No.  Definitely not.  I'm hesitant to complain about anything simply for the fact that so many people DO have it worse.

Physically, I'm doing better now than I have in well over a year.  Most of you know, a year ago December, my left arm started to bother me.  I went to the doctor and he decided to take a "wait and see" course, which was fine by me as I was convinced it would get better and I didn't want to take any pills. Unfortunately, it didn't get better.  After many months of medical appointments, MRI's, x-rays and exams, all the while, losing all use of my left arm, we found out that I had bulging, arthritic  cervical discs (the discs in your spine, in the neck region) and degenerative disc disease.  The main concern was getting the swelling down, taking the pressure off the nerves in my arm (the initial problem).  Two procedures later, they got the bulging down enough to where I could have the manual manipulation of my shoulder / arm, which I believe I've said here before, is putting me out under general anesthesia (for a third time) and breaking the shit out of my shoulder and arm and making it move in ways I couldn't do on my own anymore (and, apparently, taking photos of him doing it!  I was mortified when the doctor offered to show them to me!  NO THANK YOU!!).  It worked, thank goodness.  I've been in physical therapy now for a few months and have about 75% use back.  I'm so grateful.  You have no idea what it's like to not be able to type with two hands, open a door, put on a seatbelt, tie your shoes, get undressed/get dressed properly.  It's been expensive, painful, time consuming and everything else that I could gripe about.

Because I was raised the way I was, I have had a difficult time dealing with the weight gain from the medication and not being able to get any proper exercise for over a year. I've been cleared to go back to the place I hate the most, the gym.  I keep telling myself that Omicron is keeping me from going, but I'm just kidding myself, I hate that place. Yes, I'm hesitant because of Omicron, but let's be real, the time I go is so early, there are only a few people there so it shouldn't be an issue.

I have been getting out an about a little though, so I've gotten started and hope to be back to my normal size by the time my birthday rolls around.  It's been a blow to my self-esteem / confidence though. It's not like I had a lot to start with, so it's been hard.

Work has gotten better.  It was difficult the first 6 months of the year, then we lost a team member who was a drain on everyone.  Sure, it was more work without them, but it was easier.  Does that make sense?

I was able to visit my parents at Christmas and it was great.  In the span of a few days, we got so much snow it wasn't really safe to be out, so we stayed in for pretty much my entire trip.  Mom made cocoa, dad made cocktails, it was amazing.  The snow finally stopped the morning I was all set to leave, then it started again and I was worried my flight would be cancelled.  Luckily, we only got delayed a few times.  It was weird watching "The Ice Man" drench all of the planes on the runway (including ours) with what looked like antifreeze.  We were all bright green!  I touched down back home in pouring rain and was drenched by the time my Uber/Lyft driver came to get me, but I loved it.

For New Years Day, I invited my friend over to celebrate their birthday.  Since it was so cold, I made pot roast.  It was going to be an all-day thing, so we had appetizers, wine, dinner and cake for dessert.  I always have fairy lights up in my home, but I added big pillar candles to my faux fireplace and it made the place even more homey.  After presents (she is the only friend who always gets presents right for me), we put on Infinity War, then End Game.  Infinity War is a favorite of hers, she likes "Dirty Sexy Cap", LOL!  One of the presents I got her was a Funko of Dirty Sexy Cap, HA!

I don't normally do resolutions for the new year, but I do look back on the prior year and try to think of things I could do differently in order to make the next year better.  2021 was such a shitshow, I can't keep track of everything that could be done to make 2022 a better year.  I'm going to try and keep a positive attitude, which I did last year (mostly!) and I hope to be more content this year.  That's not to say that I am going to settle for just anything and get into a rut, but I miss that sense of calm I love so much.  It's been a while.

Because of Omicron, we were sent home to work at the very end of December, but I've managed to sneak in a few times (after getting negative test results, of course).  I managed to work from the office pretty much all but 3 weeks of Covid, so it's taken a bit to get used to.  Unfortunately, there have been so many people coming down with this new variant, my company is taking a prudent approach and having everyone work remotely wherever possible, which I appreciate.  They really do care for us, which is so, so rare.  I'm going to go in tomorrow, but will probably work from home the bulk of the week.  I've really fine-tuned my work set-up here, so it's easier to work from home than is used to be.  I've got my three screens, trackball, wireless keyboard, everything.  The only things I can't do, which means I have to go in every so often, are print (we aren't allowed for compliance reasons), scan and mail/overnight things out to clients who don't use esignature.  The only thing that keeps me from working (sometimes) is my handsome, smart, asshole cat.  He's getting old, so I let him get away with everything though.  I get tired him laying on my keyboard and knocking my pens to the floor, but he's earned the right to be a jerk.  I love this cat so much. (Yes, I say "this", because he's lying on my arm right now as I type this.). 

Oh yeah, I do have a goal for the year - one thing I really am going to do this year is, I'm going to rent a dumpster and just chuck all the worthless crap I own.  I have to wait until my arm and shoulder are a bit better, but it's going to happen.  It's less than $200 to do it and they drop off the dumpster, pick it up and get rid of your shit.  I've currently got bags all lined up for donating, but I need to find a place actually taking donations, LOL!  The places I used to give to are out of business and I don't want to give to the larger local charities that don't put most of the money raised towards helping people.

If only Ebay was easier to sell stuff.............

Well, that's enough for now, I need to start getting stuff ready for work tomorrow.  More later.....

Happy New Year!

I didn’t go to the Fox theater to see the show I mentioned in my last post. I thought the gig was on Saturday, but it was Friday and I was still too hiiiiiiiigh from being under general anesthetic to get behind the wheel of a car and drive. Or talk to anyone. Or do anything that has consequences. HA! 

I’m not sure how it happened, but when I was in recovery, I managed to get to my phone, which is weird, because I couldn’t manage to get it out of my wallet prior to being given propofol (the zipper was jammed!). So even with an I.V. in (which is the worst!), I was able to get it out (I don’t remember) and I sent photos of myself to co workers, friends and my parents. Now, if you know me, you know I RARELY send good photos of myself to anyone, let alone pics of me with a surgical cap, breathing apparatus and NO MAKE UP on!!! My mom sent me a text back that said “I’m SO saving this for blackmail”. 😳

I have a follow-up drs appointment tomorrow, wish me luck! I have Squeeze/ Daryl Hall and John Oates on Friday and I don’t want to miss it! A friend who has cancer (lost a kidney) and is going through chemo also has tickets and we’re gonna catch-up in-between bands. I haven’t seen him in years! He is a concert LEGEND, has a spreadsheet on all the shows he’s been to and I guarantee he’s been to every show you have been to and all the shows you have ever wanted to go to (in the US and UK). I’m glad the Bowl season has started and he feels safe enough to finally get back to concerts, chemo and all. I don’t want my friends to be unhappy and I could tell from our scant few texts that he was.

Fingers-crossed I can go!!!  I’ll let you guys know if my doctor clears me!

Ricky Gervais just cancelled the re-scheduled show from last year (a birthday gift from my oldest and dearest friend). I’m disappointed, but understand. 

Let’s be smart, safe and stay healthy!

Okay, I know it’s been months since my last post. Sorry. 2021 has been a challenging time, especially the past few months and, to be honest, with everything else going on in the world, I just didn't want to post about anything.  All my bullshit seems so small compared to the big picture, know what I mean?

I thought I should post something so y'all didn't think I got Covid or was in an accident or anything. I'm getting through all my work and health nonsense and trying to keep a smile (what else can you do, right?).  Maybe I'll post about it another time.   

I DID go to my first concert since a few days before lockdown started last March 2020 (Keane at the Kodak...amazing gig, front row!).  Saw Squeeze out in Riverside at the Fox Theatre this past Saturday (wore my mask!). Such a great show.  They played a couple of songs I haven't heard them do live since the late 80's and early 90's.  Looking forward to seeing them at the Hollywood Bowl with Darryl Hall and John Oates.  Just gotta figure out the shuttle situation as they don't have the ticket link up on the Bowl website yet.  

If I'm able to do it, I may head back out to Riverside and see a show Saturday.  It's 50/50 though, so I haven't bought a ticket yet.  I don't think it's sold-out, so I'm not worried about getting in if I do end-up making the drive. 

Anyway, I'm alive and fairly well, so... YAY!

Needless to say, things are getting better each day.  

I hope everyone out there is safe, healthy, well and happy.  

Take care!

 Busy week! After 15 months of not being able to see them, I went to visit my parents!  I tried to surprise my mom for Mother’s Day, but my dad blabbed. It’s okay though, she did a decent job trying to pretend she didn’t know.

It’s interesting, I struggled not being able to spend time with them, but by the start of the 2nd day, my mom and I were sniping at each other, lol! Family dynamics are static, even during a pandemic!

After 6 months of dealing with my arm/shoulder, I had my first physical therapy session this past Wednesday. She evaluated the situation and thinks everything probably started with a nerve issue in December and then grew to all the other stuff. It was a little scary to hear it was going to get worse before it got better…then she went to work.  When she started probing the muscle and the large tendon, I just about kneed the poor girl in the side of the head, it hurt so bad! (I was on a table while she was over me digging into my arm and shoulder, causing my knee to inadvertently come up) It probably lasted about 40 mins  and I have the bruises to prove it, HA! After she was done, I got wrapped-up in this weird refrigeration thing that flooded my arm, shoulder and neck in super cold “something”. 

She was right, it’s currently a lot worse than it was, but I’m hopeful it will get better!!! 

Work has been really busy, but should slow down a little after the upcoming IRS deadline, thank goodness!

Here’s to a tranquil weekend… I should probably get my travel junk off the floor, unpack and put stuff away, after all, I’ve been home for 5 days now! I’m so lazy!!!