It’s been an interesting time since I last posted.

I had a gal come in that was supposed to help me clear some of my crap out and unblock the negative energy in my apartment.  Now, I must preface any comments by saying she was great.  She knows her stuff and was super-nice.  Was it worth the money?  I’m not so sure.  I did unload a ton of stuff, BUUUUUUUUUT, I could have done that with a really no-nonsense friend.  I was really disappointed that we weren’t able to get to documents and stuff like that.  It’s was 5 hours of “Do you love this?” because, according to the rules, I shouldn’t keep anything I don’t love.  The thing is, I had to put a bunch of stuff on the “do not discuss” list (comics, cd’s, my CBLMW box, record albums, etc.).  It ended-up being okay because we were kept busy with the huge amount of other stuff I have.  Besides, since I have the clown car of apartments, I got rid of so much stuff, yet seem to have even more left than what I started with!

I got rid of about 2 minivans worth of stuff.  The lava lamps and concert shirts were the most difficult to let go of.  The fact that I knew they were going to good homes made it much easier.  I've got great friends who will take care of and cherish everything I let go of, and for that I'm grateful.

The weird thing is, right after I did that first stage of the big clear out, I had the worst luck!!!  The shittiest week in ages.  I mean, REALLY bad.  Work and home both.

Plus, now my apartment is a wreck.  Between pulling shit off shelves, out of cupboards, closets and out of drawers, it’s a mess.  I’ve had a couple of things going on since then, so I haven’t had a really good chance to clean-up or get stuck in and do more.

The next "out of the ordinary thing" was that I reached out and got a hold of my cousin (on my mom’s side).  I hadn’t seen  or spoken with her in 14 years, so, for some reason, I thought we should re-connect.  I don’t have a lot of close family and ever since my parents moved away I’ve felt that acutely.  I have one uncle that I talk to, but that’s about it.

I drove out to her place and from what I saw of it, it was beautiful.  We spent an ENTIRE day catching-up.  Both of us had a lot of questions about the family stuff that we don’t know about.  Unfortunately, her memory is crap, so I ended-up answering more things than I got answers to.

I should probably say that I didn’t really like my cousin growing-up.  We were never close.  She is a couple of years older than me and always gravitated towards my older sister (like all kids).  She was really actually quite the mean girl to me most of the time.  At camp, when we went at the same time,  we were forced to be in the same cabin, which neither of us liked.  She didn’t want her younger, ugly,  nerdy cousin in her cabin and I didn’t want to be with my older, cooler cousin who hated me.  It sucked!  I was put through the ringer.  Her friends hated me as well and they made that abundantly clear.  When we would sail to Catalina, I got ditched and ended-up sunburned, seasick and miserable.  Her dad was the only person who was nice to me.  Kids can be nasty and mean.

She was the pretty one.  Rich, pretty and popular.  I, on the other hand, was not.  Any of that.  To be honest, not much has changed.  She is still pretty and popular.  Rich, I don’t know.  None of my business.

Age has mellowed her personality a little bit, too bad it didn’t touch her looks.  She looks the same!  She was nice for most of the day.  The competitiveness that used to be so inherent in our relationship seems to be diminished.  I think maybe it finally occurred to her that I don’t compete for anything, so it’s no fun being like that with me.  Overall she was nice to be around, although, she did make one comment that hurt my feelings and has stayed with me.  I mentioned it to my dad, not in a tattle tale way, just as an aside and he didn’t seem too pleased.  There was no need for her to have said it to me.  It did not offer anything to the conversation.  It was a “By the way…..”. Disappointing.  I like her though (the grown-up her) and realistically, that was one of the few negatives of an overall nice day.

My cousin has a few kids.  The two I’ve met, I haven’t seen since they were little, so it was great to see them as adults.  Her son has grown-up to be a fantastic, successful, handsome, young man.  One of her daughters was on a trip so I didn’t see her, and, believe it or not, this was the first time I was able to meet her other daughter, who is around 20.  She’s an amazing girl.  My cousin should be proud of all of her kids.

It was a really long and exhausting day.  I made sure I left with contact information for her dad.  I adored him growing-up.  I get the feeling that they don’t talk much, but that doesn’t involve me and I’m not getting in the middle.  I gave her the same advice I give everyone with parent problems: “Our parents did the best they could with the tools they had”.  None of them purposefully fucked anybody up.  That’s just a bonus.

I was able to get in touch with him via email and we will hopefully get together the next time he’s in town.

The next person on the list is her brother.  I think it’s been close to 30 years since I saw him last.  Neither of us were sure if he’d gone to our grandfathers funeral or not (that was almost 20 years ago).  I’m not holding my breath for that to happen though.  She seems very disinterested in the two of us meeting-up and I need her help to get his contact information.

I hope another 14 years doesn’t have to pass before I get together with her again.  We may not ever be the best of friends, but we are family.  With us, that’s a very select group. 

I think I have a quiet weekend ahead of me.  Maybe I will be able to take a little bit of time out and clean my apartment and actually go grocery shopping.......my fridge is empty.  Why am I so fat??!!!??

First off, let me say that I got dates mixed-up in my last post. Since I've enacted a total media blackout, I didn't know that the convention is next week, not this week. Doesn't really change much though. There are other contributing factors to this mood / emotional state.

This week saw, what would have been, my sister's 48th birthday. I wasn't close to her by any means, but I call my parents every year on that date. We don't talk about her or anything, I just make sure to call and touch base. It does, however, make you think about things and wonder how much different our family would have been had there been a positive relationship between her and the family.

There are others issues at play this time of year as well, but it's too much to go into now.

I was asked about the vague SDCC mention in my last post. Okay, the reasons I'm not able to go:

1) I'm not really in a head space where I can go and see people I used to know or sit in on panels. I used to love nothing more than reading comics and going to Comic Con every year. I allowed that to change. My fault completely and I'm still hopeful that things will go back to how they used to be, it will just take time (yes I know it's already been a long fucking time, but I never said I was on a normal schedule, right?).

2) I can't fucking go because a few years ago, as a result of something I'm not going to go into here, I returned the ticket I'd stood in line for over 8 hours to purchase. Now, you don't have a chance of getting tickets unless you attended the previous year, so, as I missed a year, I'm not able to get a pass unless someone gives/sells me one. It's a messed-up system.

So that's it. I'm allowed to be emotional once a year, right?  I will try not to think about San Diego (and I hope my friends won't mention it) but if I do, I will be sending good thoughts to SDCC and wishing everyone a good time.  If anyone reading this is going, have a wonderful time! If you're up for any awards, I hope you beat your competition to a pulp (get it? Pulp? No? It's a publishing joke...ah forget it).

Sorry for the cussing.

For the past three years these next few July days have been hard for me.

Everything starts Wednesday (today) and ends Sunday. I wish I was able to go, like I did for so, so many years, but I can't. :-(

I'm trying to keep my mind off it and I'm avoiding all possible news stories, but there's always some well-meaning friend who forgets that I can no longer go and they ask me my plans.  I don't want to be a jerk, so I just say "I don't go anymore, I wish I could, but I can't". I try to keep it short, succinct and friendly, it's hard though.

I went to see comedian Jeff Richards perform at Flappers in Burbank last night.  You'd probably remember him as "Drunk Girl" from Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live, but I liked him best as Jarrod's creepy jock roommate.  Anyway, my friend and I didn't go in with super-high expectations, but we ended up having a really good time.  All of the people we saw were funny!  It was cool that the club has an area set-up on your way out where you can meet the performers from your show.  Of course Jeff Richards was especially nice to my friend (everyone is ALWAYS especially nice to her!  Even when it's me forking over the $20 for their merch..... some things absolutely never change, LOL).

My friend and I made a pact that we were really going to try to go to more comedy shows.  We used to go fairly often and saw some cool acts (and no really horrible and awful acts that we walked out of, actually, there was only one...... I'm looking at you Joe Rogan.  I can take dirty.  I can take rude.  I can even take unfunny.  But when you hit the trifecta of all three, I'm out.).  We really did see some amazing gigs.  A Damon Wayans surprise act, a REALLY young Carlos Alazaraqui, Charles Fleischer, Kevin Meanie, Greg Proops, the list goes on and on and on. 

It's time to get back to comedy!  The shows are cheap and you can usually get away with diet cokes for your two drink minimum.

Something to think about.

I think I'm finally settling in to my job.  I'm still training and learning, but I'm starting to get comfortable.  We still have the big quarterly project coming-up, but at least I'n not as on edge as I was....

I'm going to EC tomorrow after work (after driving home in traffic and walking to catch a crowded bus, not to be confused with a Crowded House) with my cocktail partners in crime, Sam and her husband David. I can't wait to have a nice flaming margarita and relax. :-)

Maybe Sam will remember to bring my mail this time....bah, probably not, LOL!

I was saddened to receive a text yesterday from my friend letting me know that Rik Mayall passed away. This was from the same friend who called and told me Phil Hartman had been murdered.

When I was in high school, I was a nerd. Seriously nerdy. I read comic books, was obsessed with music, Monty Python, comedy shows, reading, watching old TV shows and everything British and Australian (Kiwi too). Don't get me wrong, I had friends, but I was a little different. I liked my friends, but since we lived kinda far from everything, I spent loads of time on my own.

One day I discovered the Young Ones.   Since no one else had heard of it, it didn't help my nerd status, but it was so great. I had such a huge crush on both Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmonson! This show had amazing guest stars that would go on to become HUGE, although we didn't know it then. My next crushes were Stephen Fry, Robbie Coltrane, Griff Rhys-Jones , Stephan Frost and Hugh Laurie. All of them were on the show at some point. I'd already had a crush on Griff from watching him and Mel Smith on their show "Alas Smith and Jines", but it was neat seeing him on this show. Then there were the bands on the show: Madness, Motörhead, Amazulu, the Damned, Jools Holland with members of Squeeze, Ultravox, , etc. this was stuff you couldn't see anywhere!  Even Emma Thomson was on the show...

I couldn't believe my luck when, a few years later, I found a vinyl copy of " British Comic Relief Presents: Utterly Utterly Live". I got it for The Young Ones with Cliff Richard, but it opened my eyes to Billy Connolly, Lenny Henry and French and Saunders.  AMAZING.  I owe so much to the Rik and the Young Ones.

Rik was in other great things: Blackadder, Comic Strip Presents (I have a cd of Bad News!), Filthy  Rich and Catflap, Dangerous Brothers, New Statesman, the movie Drop Dead Fred, Bottom, Jonathan Creek.....all sorts of stuff. It was the Young Ones that started it all. I can still recite lines from it.  Not as geeky as when I used to recite Python lines, but close. Here is a poem I know by heart, that Rik recited while looking in the mirror, pinching his face to pop a zit. If you know the show, it should bring back good memories--

"Pollution. All around. Sometimes up. Sometimes down. Pollution, are you coming to my town, or am I coming to yours? Ha, we're on different buses pollution, but we're both using petrol...ha"

If you want, I can't recite Python too....

I have had this picture for man, many years (mainly on my fridge, where it still resides), I will raise a glass to it and miss the great, crude, filthy genius of Rik Mayall. I used to have the picture saved, but when I updated my computer, it was lost. I can't find it online anymore.  Hopefully it will show up below:

Update 6/29 = I finally tracked down the image online.

For some reason this didn't publish last weekend-- trying again.

I went out to breakfast this morning with my staff from my last job. It was awesome to see everyone and spend time catching up. I can't believe it's been over two months since I left. A lot has changed at my old company... And two of my gals gave me birthday presents, I love presents!!! I miss these ladies like crazy.  We're going to do it again in a month or two.

I was lucky enough to have birthday breakfast with two friends on my bday. I'm so fortunate to have these two ladies as my friends.   My dad sent me an awesome text. My mom, of course, forgot to call. Maybe she got mixed up since I'd seen them the weekend before? I don't know. Makes me laugh though! One year she called me on the wrong day and when I pointed it out, she said "I know when it is, I was there". :-)

I can't believe I'm another year older. So much has happened in the last 12 months. I've moved, passed a major exam (it pisses me off that I'm not using the license, but hey, I passed!) and I found a new job in Brentwood.

My new bosses gave me a beautiful orchid, which was neat since my last boss never even said "happy birthday" when I worked for him.

The rest of my birthday was quiet.  I went to a special screening of the Thrilling Adventure Hour web series with a bonus performance of my favorite: Sparks Nevada, Marshall on Mars. My friend drove and I got to be the second passenger in her new SUV. It was great! They were also showing Serenity, but we bailed early. One of the actors came over to My friend to tell her he'd met her sister back east. How neat is that?