With the
year coming to a close, I thought I’d post a rundown of how this year went. I’ve changed jobs, made VERY a unlikely new
friend, had a person I thought was out of my life for good, re-enter it
briefly, and I lost a friend of over 35 years to cancer,
As anyone
who knows me or reads this blog knows, 2016 started out stressful! Spending New Year’s Eve and the 1st fretting
about contacting my bosses and then going over to their home to resign and give
a formal two weeks’ notice after working for them for close to two years was awful, as was the following two weeks. It was also a scary time as I was leaving a very
well-paying job before officially being hired at the next job. I could find myself without a job with no
options. Plus, I was going to a job that
paid considerably less money than I’d been used to. How was that going to be? What if I hated the new job?
Starting the
new job was, as I said, scary, but great too.
I felt “at home” and where I belonged right from the start.
This was a feeling I have not felt in 16 years. I knew I’d made the right decision by taking
the risks to get to this new position.
Sure, I don’t have the extra money I used to, but I was doing a job I
knew I was good at. That’s got to be
worth something, right?
I’ve met so
many great people at my new company.
Every one of them friendly, (well everyone but the guy I used to work
with at another company). One of the
friendly people being someone I told right after meeting them “I should hate
you and not get along with you, but somehow I do”. They are an ultra-conservative, redneck, racist-y,
Libertarian prepper survivalist who says everything they think without a filter. Most everything they say is offensive (I have
to believe most of it is said for effect and to get a reaction out of people),
but somehow they have become a dear friend (and bless his girlfriend’s heart for
putting up with him for so long, she is more woman than I will ever be!).
February
Quiet month. Went to the Doctor Who convention (didn’t
enjoy myself) and lost a friend I’ve known most of my life to cancer. I was devastated. Spent a lot of time crying, studying and not
drinking. This loss took a very long time to try and get over, especially since neither of us were particularly good to the other the last year or so we saw each other. I didn't know his cancer had relapsed. I still feel the guilt and sadness to this day.
March
I think I
spent the entire month studying and mostly not drinking. And dealing with the asshole I work
with.
April
Part of the
hiring agreement for my new job was obtain a specific license (hence all the
studying) within 90 days and I passed the exam this month. I was told that it would have been okay had I
not passed it, but I don’t like to fail or make mistakes.
Only things
I really remember about May is briefly watching my old bosses house (and
swearing I’d never do it again, which I haven’t!) and getting highlights in my
hair. I was about to turn a year older,
I wanted to try and look younger. Not
sure I achieved it, but I gave it a try.
I DID have a guy in the grocery store tell me that I looked like a cross
between Daria and Lisa Loeb, so it can’t have looked too bad, right?
I was asked
to help organize a Memorial Day charity run/walk (I walked) at work with the
folks I work with to benefit wounded veterans. We had a good time with all the vets we met.
June
Another year
older. I was shocked people at work made
a big deal about my birthday. I was
still pretty new. It was so unexpected,
I’m very fortunate. Everyone but the
asshole wished me happy birthday and either gave me a gift or took me out (or
both!).
July
I lent a
long-time friend of mine a small amount of money and things have been weird
ever since. I don’t care about the
money, but they do and it has affected our friendship. She usually checks in on my cat when I visit
my folks during the holidays, but I couldn’t ask her this year, because I didn’t
want her to feel obligated since she hasn’t paid me back. Like I said, I could give a shit about
the money, I’m just glad I could help
out a friend. Because of it, my poor guy
was left alone for the days I was gone in December (he is yelling at me for it right
now).
Someone who
I thought was gone from my life forever contacted me when I never expected to
hear from them again. I was exceedingly
happy, yet I felt guarded. I fucked everything
up the last time. I was sure I would do
it again. How do I temper being really
happy to have someone back in my life with overboard caution? I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t want to unintentionally
hurt them. How did I do you ask? Turns out, not very well. At all.
August
Dog days of
summer. I don’t remember much about
August. I know I went out with (and had
a very good time) with the person from my past who got in touch with me. They’d moved back into the area, so I was
really jazzed. Over dinner they said
that they wanted to take everything they were doing really slow, which was exactly what I was
thinking. You can’t just move across the country, possibly change jobs, and also jump from one
long-term thing to another, right? We’re
so smart and on the same page.
Excellent. Going back home, I was
really looking forward to going out again a couple of weeks later when we spent
the day walking around my neighborhood and shopping, ending back at my pad and
having a pretty deep discussion. I got the feeling we were no longer on the same page, but I could be wrong, I usually am, right? We made plans to go to a concert in a couple of weeks.
September
Early
September came and my boss told me I don’t ever have to have anything to do
with the asshole at work anymore. We were being separated, hooray!!! What a
fucking awesome day that was!!!!
I went to
visit my folks for the holiday in September.
I remember having fun and really enjoying the drive, but was exhausted
when I got home. Parents (and driving 8+
hours) are exhausting!
I went out
on the date to go to dinner and a concert and probably shouldn’t have gone as something was wrong with me. I was so excited about it, I didn’t want to
cancel, no way. I was looking forward to
spending one-on-one time with this person (and see the band). Plus, it’s rude to cancel on the day of a
date, right? I’m guessing it wouldn’t
have made any difference. From how
things turned out, I really messed things up that night. I was getting a migraine and didn’t realize
it. If you have never had one, it’s
really hard to understand what happens to you physically and chemically. I know my manner was probably short /
abrupt. I started to feel better once I
had an iced tea (caffeine is a vasoconstrictor that alleviates some of the
effects of migraines). The tea’s effects
were temporary and started to wear off as the night progressed. The migraine fully hit somewhere after
1am. I was out of commission for about 4
days afterward. Anyway, that night seems
to have been the point at which that person decided that I wasn’t worth the
hassle. I don’t blame them, not one bit. I guess if I had been in their shoes, I would
have done the same thing. I’m not mad, angry or anything like that, I’m
sad that I managed to fuck things up again. I wish they knew how sorry I am about it.
October
My friend’s store finally
had its grand opening, so I went up to help.
A long day in the heat, going to the store to buy hot dogs and stuff and
helping people and trying to get them to buy merchandise. If you can believe it, one of the selling
points I used for a line of men’s shirts they carry was “this is the same line
of shirts El Chapo wears”. Yes, I said
that to people. More than once. And I believe they bought shirts. While I was there, it was like a school
reunion, but with work. I got to see people I haven’t seen in a long time. Folks I used to work with, it was fun.
I had a
horrible day of jury duty this month. Nightmarish,
literally. I’m just too sensitive for
things like that. I take it home with
me. I had nightmares for days from what
I heard in Jury Selection. I’m so
thankful that I didn’t get picked. I
doubt I could cope with it and they were not letting people get excused because
of the subject matter.
Because I
started to experience cluster migraines again, I finally got in and went to the
neurologist and have started a program of daily medication to
prevent the migraines. So far, it seems
to be working, I haven’t had one since.
Some of the side effects really suck, but I’d rather have those than a
migraine.
I had an
awful experience at EC’s during this month.
What do I do when bad stuff like that happens? I internalize it and decide that I have to
lose weight, because shit like that doesn’t happen to skinny girls, right? I can’t control others, so I’ll control what
I eat. I also changed my hair. I got rid of the highlights. I figured that I’d have my hairstylist color them
red for Fall. Red hair is appropriate
for Fall, at least that's what I've heard.
My favorite
holiday on the calendar is Halloween, but I didn’t do anything to celebrate it
this year.
November
This was a
super-dull month. Apart from the
election, of course. I don’t want to go
into it too much here, but I am frightened by the changes in my country. Racism, lying, cheating and not being held
accountable is now commonplace and acceptable.
I miss the days when people were ashamed to be any of those things. Now they are proud. I’m hopeful that the results of the election
will be a catalyst for serious change (for the better), I’m hopeful that our
new president won’t be as bad as it looks like he will be. I’m hopeful that maybe he won’t be allowed to
do anything too bad and that, if we are lucky, he will be a one-term president
and everything he does can be undone by the next person to hold the office.
Early in the month, I found out that person hired to replace me at my last job had given notice. She lasted about 10 months.
I had many
invitations for Thanksgiving, but turned all but one down and then cancelled on
the one I did accept. I just wasn’t up
to it. Gotham and I had a quiet day at home.
December
I found out that the person hired to replace my replacement at my last job had quit. She last two weeks. So I guess it wasn't me after all, eh?
I’m still on
the diet and hate my hair (not much has changed since last month). I again went back to the stylist and we tried to get the highlights put back in. It
doesn’t look as good as it did before, but maybe we can work on it in future
appointments. The stupid red won’t go
away!
As you know from my last post, I don't have to go back to my skin cancer doctor for 12 months!!! I never heard anything after he took two large biopsies of my back, so I'm going to assume everything was clear. I normally would have heard by now, so YIPPEE!!!
As you know from my last post, I don't have to go back to my skin cancer doctor for 12 months!!! I never heard anything after he took two large biopsies of my back, so I'm going to assume everything was clear. I normally would have heard by now, so YIPPEE!!!
The end of
the year always brings a lot to do with my work, so December has been really
busy.
For the
first time since I started my new job, I took a few days off at Christmas to go
visit my folks. Since there is so much
to do at the office at this time, I really had to prepare things for me being
out. Plus, I texted and called the
office just about every day I was gone.
Only a couple of fires to put out, so that wasn’t too bad.
I decided to
go off my diet for Christmas and visiting my parents. The things is, when you’re a fat ass like I
am, you feel guilty about every little thing you eat. I went to buy some clothes and was very disappointed
that I wasn’t a smaller size than what I fit into. I guess I’ll
have to really cut back when I start-up again on January 2nd after
being off program for 11 days.
We didn’t
get any snow at my parent’s house this year, but it was cold. It was around 27F during the day and 10F at
night.
I have to
say, I think I know how my friend Sam’s husband feels like whenever he visits
my cat. He wants so bad for the cat to
be friends with him, but my cat is having none of it. He wants it too bad and the cat knows it. Well, that’s how my
parents two cats were to me until the 2nd to last day I was
there. The night before I was supposed
to leave, one of them FINALLY came up to me and sat on my lap. He’d spent the rest of the time hiding. The other cat either hid or stood just out of
reach to be able to pet. Fuckers.
I booked my
first Uber rides to and from the airport for the trip. The first one was awesome, it only cost $26.11
($20 of which I had a coupon for), but the ride home….. Jeez, the ride home was EXPENSIVE!! When I got off the plane and was walking to
baggage claim (I never check my bags unless I have to) I pulled up the Uber app
and looked at my options. There was a
ride for about that same amount as when I went to the airport and I thought “cool,
I’ll book it as soon as I have my bag”.
So I cruised over to baggage claim #2, wait for my bag to come out (about
15 mins), and pull up the app again as I’m walking out to the front of the
airport. Welllll, when it refreshed, the
“pool” option and the one above it were no longer listed, so the cheapest one
was $96 in a Lincoln Town Car.
WTF??!!?? In 15 minutes it went
up $70 to $96? Really Uber? Well, I was kind of stuck, so I took it. The whole point of taking Uber was so I could
save a couple of bucks as this airport doesn’t have many parking options. You can park at their lot or not park at
all. Since I’d never flown out of there
before, I was short on choices that I was aware of. To make myself feel better, I figured that I
spent the same amount I would have had I parked there, so I can’t be too upset
(yes I can).
New Year’s
will be low-key. I have to drive up to
my uncles’ house early Saturday morning to pick up the stuff he drove back for
me from my parents’ house, but that shouldn’t take too long. I plan on spending the day trying to clean my
apartment before the New Year starts. On
New Year’s Day, I’m going to crack open the calendars I got and fill them in with
all my numbers and dates. After 8 years,
I’ve finally given up on electronic calendars and phone books. I’m tired of forgetting birthdays,
anniversaries, concerts (Henry Rollins earlier this month, I’m looking at you)
and appointments. I bought two planners,
one for work and one for home.
I’ve had
some amazing things happen this year, some heartbreaking losses and I have
managed to ruin a great thing this year.
Do I have any regrets? Yes, I do
and that makes me sad. I’m angry with
myself and I hope I can make the changes necessary so that I won’t repeat the
same mistakes in 2017. I’m sure I’ll
make plenty of mistakes, but hopefully just not the same ones. Regardless of what happened this year, I'm grateful for everything. I'm very fortunate and I know it.
I hope
everyone reading this has an amazing 2017. I'm glad to be seeing the back of 2016.
Bring on the new year!
