Okay, so I went to Cost Plus this morning when they opened (9am, if you're wondering) to pick-up a scone mix I like.  I was going to walk, but really, why?  It's not far, but I decided I wasn't in the mood to walk down 3rd with all the super-fit joggers / runners passing me by.

As I drove over, I kept reminding myself what I was going there to buy. Scone mix. Scone mix. Scone mix. (I have a shitty memory and I am easily distracted.)

So, how is it that I went in there for something that costs about $4 a package  and I walked out having spent $60? Damn you Cost Plus for making me buy stuff!!!!

Also, damn you Woodfire Grill (or Ranch or whatever) next to the Grove for smelling sooooo good as I walked to / from my car.  I can't tell you how good it smells over there.

Updated at the bottom.

Trying to decide if EC's is in the cards for tomorrow (Friday).  I've been so tired by the time I get home, I'm not sure it's do-able.

I dunno.
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Update: I don't think I'm going to go to EC's tomorrow night (Friday 2/27) after work.  I haven't heard back from my friends yet, but I just got an email that my ex-boyfriend has business a few doors down the street tomorrow afternoon/evening.  I guess I'll just have to make up an excuse to beg off.

You may be asking why I would change my plans.. well I still have a lot respect for the guy.  Pure and simple.  (Who knew?!!??)  It's a rare distinction he shares with only one other man I've dated either before or since I dated him.  I doubt I am conveying this in a coherent fashion, but he really is an amazing, talented and good person.  The last thing I want to do is make things awkward or uncomfortable for him, so it's probably best if I just gave EC's a miss tonight, on the off-chance we would happen to cross paths.  This isn't about me it's about being respectful of him and his work.  Plus, I'm pretty sure that he would rather not ever see my ugly mug ever again, LOL.

Besides, EC's was where we had our first dinner date, it holds really good memories of that night for me  (it was a truly amazing date) and I don't want to ruin that. It was around this time of year too....
 

BAH! I shouldn't have had that glass of wine with dinner.  It's made me all nice and stuff.

I can go to EC's another night.

I hope he has a good time on my side of town. :-)

Kind of a surreal day.  I woke up feeling crappy, but went into the office anyway.  Was hit with SIX urgent messages with complicated work attached from my boss, plus an email (he also called me on my cell on Saturday). Not a great way to start the week! Then the power went out and the building was evacuated. Nothing like walking down flights of stairs and into a dimly lit parking garage to make you feel safe.

The weather is pretty weird too. Pouring rain in some spots, fairly strong winds, big white fluffy clouds in other areas and big dark clouds in still others.  It just seems spooky.  Too bad I still feel crappy or else. I would have enjoyed getting out early.

Of course, while typing this my boss called and gave me stuff to do....

The week is going by fairly quickly, thank goodness.  Today is the sixth day if Shiva, so Timary, Tina and I went to spend time with Earl's family.  It's customary to bring food, but since we don't have a refrigerator at work, I didn't want anything I may have cooked to go bad and get everyone sick.  So all I had to give was a card.

It was nice to sit and talk with everyone.  I'm not sure Earl's mom knew what to make of me. Let's be honest, my sense of fairness is pretty strong and I felt like Earl's brother was getting swept to the side.  Even with his mom.  That's not right! Everyone talks about the other brother that passed away, but rarely this one.  I made a point of telling everyone that while Earl did indeed talk about the brother that passed away, he also told me great stories about the brother who was with us.  Luckily for me, when I went to Earl's birthday luncheon late last year, his brother arrived when only two of us had gotten there ahead of him.  The other gal, Lou, didn't know much about Earl's family, so that left it to me to make him feel welcome. I was nervous, and you know how I react to that: I talk a lot. I mean A Lot. I pulled out everything Earl had ever told me about his brother and asked him about what I'd learned.  There's no way I would have known that stuff if Earl hadn't told me.  He seemed grateful to know that he mattered to Earl. He did matter, It's just Earl didn't show it very often.  His brother is a musician, we had a great time talking about Cal Tjader! I was humbled to learn that he'd mentioned me to his wife after that lunch. He told her back then how nice I was! Can't ask for more than that!

When the Minion showed up, it was time to leave. Timary wanted to go to Sur, so we went there for dinner. Now, in case you didn't know, Sur is the restaurant on "Vanderpump Rules", so I expected to see some fan girls. Dude!!! There were tons of people having their photos taken with the waitresses and bartenders. They were kinda snobby when I mentioned we didn't have a reservation, and we had to sit at these low tables near the bar, but the food was good.  So was the conversation. We told Earl stories we couldn't say in front of his family, plus I'm on a never-ending quest to get my friends into better jobs!  They deserve better.

The only drawback to the night was the fact that by the time I got near my apt there was no parking in my neighborhood, apart from the area where you have to move by 7am. Stupid city decided that it was a good idea to complete work on multiple blocks at once (while parking their zillion bulldozers on our streets overnight, taking up great swathes of spaces) in an area of Los Angeles known for it's shortage of parking spaces for residents. Bah.

I should probably go to bed now that I have to get up early to move my car....

My weekend was full of highs and lows. Mostly lows.

I arrived at the GallifreyOne convention Friday afternoon. I was surprised to see how much programming was going on.  It used to be a Saturday and Sunday convention.  Now it looks like they're starting Thursday afternoon and going through Sunday.  Weird.  You'd think I'd notice changes like that.

I think this was my 9th or 10th year. I remember when I discovered this little convention. One August afternoon a while back, I was bored at work on my lunch break and Googled "American Doctor Who Conventions" (or something like that) and saw a gloriously simple website.  The cheese factor was so amazing! I emailed a link to my friend with the note "We HAVE to go to this!".  So we got tickets and went a few months later. It was awesome.

Did I have a ton of fun this year? To put it quite simply, "No". There were a couple of moments where it was fun, but overall, I didn't really have a good time.  This year it came the day after Earl died, so I was dealing with that. <The section that used to be here has been edited out.>

Earls funeral yesterday was so beautiful. I was surrounded by people I care about and I could really feel the love in that chapel.  I cried like a baby, of course. I held it together until I saw one of my really strong friends crying. Then it was floods of tears from me.  There were so many people there, I mean A TON of people. I've never seen that many people show up to a funeral.  Earl was loved by so many. I don't think he knew how beloved he was, which is such a shame.

Rabbi Wolpe did a wonderful job and the speakers told the best stories. Seeing Earl's 99 year-old mom be so stoic through the whole thing made me marvel at how strong she is.  I wish I could be that strong!

A bonus at the funeral was that I was able to avoid my old asshole boss.  Samantha went with me and was under strict orders from my dad to keep the guy away from me. She did a good job!  I think it was cool that the boss I used to have (that I really liked) came and sat with me.  I think he knew that our little group would have a bit of  "gallows" humor happening (which we did) and that it would be more tolerable sitting with us than it would be sitting with quiet people not saying anything.

I didn't go to the reception at the temple afterwards, I didn't want to tempt fate. If I had gone, asshole old boss would have found me and would have wanted to talk. I would have either said something I would really regret or I would have done something I would really regret. I think I made the right decision to go with my friends who knew Earl and have dinner and talk about our different Earl stories.

Today I spent the day recovering from the weekend. I didn't even get out of my pajamas until I took a shower this afternoon / evening. I'm a lazy sloth! Although, I did put a table and chairs together. So I guess I'm not too lazy.

Argh, work tomorrow. :-(

My friend Earl passed away today and I am heartbroken.

The whole day went by in a blur after I got the phone call letting me know he was gone. If I wasn't crying, I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to do and failing at everything I tried to get done. The entire drive home tonight I was in a daze. I still am. I've cried so much, it hurts.

I am supposed to be at a Doctor Who convention tomorrow afternoon through Sunday night, but services are Sunday afternoon.  So, at the very least, I will have to leave early. I really don't want to go to the convention at all now, but I think Earl would be mad if he thought this caused me to miss it.  Maybe it will help me take my mind off of the loss of my friend.

If I'm able to, In a few days I'll post a couple of stories. Right now I don't think I can.

 At 76, it was too soon for him to go.

I don't know how to describe how I feel right now. I feel lost.

You guys, I'm so tired. Exhausted is a better word.  Physically and emotionally.

A friend of mine is in the hospital.  I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. I've been friends with this person for 15 years and we were co-workers for 14 years.

I went over to the hospital this morning before work and it broke my heart. Luckily, the family was asleep, so I was able to just sit quietly next to the hospital bed and  hope that they get better. As of this Morning, I was told they were in a medically induced coma and on a ventilator.  Watching a machine breathe for someone you care about is heartbreaking. It was all I could do to not cry while I was sitting there. The family doesn't need that, they need people to be positive and rally behind them that this special person is going to get better.  Their mom is 99 years-old, there is no way I'm going to tell her that I've given up.  I haven't given up at all, it's just hard to keep a bright and positive attitude.

They looked frail, but I've seen worse. I know they can beat this. They have to. This person gives so much to different charities (not just money, but time) and cares about everyone. We need people like that in this world.  They have been a good friend to me.  I am a better person because of them.

Please spare a good thought for them, they can use it!!!!

I'm going to go and have a good cry now.  Don't tell anyone though, it will ruin my reputation as the big blue meanie.

PS: I just read that Len Wein is in the hospital and going to have surgery, so please spare a good thought for him as well. I know I joke about him never recognizing me, no matter how many times we have met, but he is a nice person and I want him happy, healthy and well.

I got my hair cut yesterday, it was almost down to my shoulder blades again.....it's now a little shorter than I like (okay, a lot shorter).......and a few more layers than I like (okay, a lot more layers).....but hey, it will grow back.  So, for now, I get to live with shortish choppy hair. Not really my normal retro-ish style. Hopefully, I can do something with it.

I went back to my old hairdresser, which was fun.  I hadn't been to see him, for various reasons, in about three or four years. It was neat to catch-up.  He's a daddy now!  It looks like he's finally starting to settle down after all these years.  I think his girlfriend has been a good influence on him.  He still flirted with me though, which was nice.  It's rare that I get flirted with!

Don't ask me why, but when I got home from getting my hair done, I decided to go through my drawers and closets and purge my clothes and stuff.  You know the drill, getting rid of stuff I don't wear or need. Halfway through, I decided to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom.  Did I finish either project? No.

I don't know what I was thinking!!!!

My place is a mess, my entire body hurts, I woke up with a headache and I'm covered in bruises.

I have been up since 5am, (on a Sunday!!!!) when my sore back woke me up.  I need to get to the grocery store and run a couple of errands, plus re-do my roots, but I don't know if those things are going to happen.  They sort of require getting out of bed. GAH!!!!