The new year started out in a kind of surreal way.  I was sitting, reading email on my phone when it rang around 8am (which is weird, because it rarely rings).  Anyway, it was my dad, which was also weird, because he rarely calls me, I usually call him.  We went through the usual pleasantries, you know, wishing each other a happy new year, etc.  We chatted for about 10-15 minutes when he asked if I was sitting down.  I was, so he told me that one of my uncles had been killed at 12:55am that morning.

I was stunned.  I asked what had happened and was told that he'd been driving his motorcycle a ways ahead of his wife, on the 5FWY North and had just made it to the 134FWY interchange and ended-up crashing into the center divider.  His wife had been communicating with him somehow through their helmets (I don't know anything about that stuff, so I have no idea how it works) and all of a sudden everything went silent.  Pretty quickly after that she came upon the accident scene.

My first question to my dad was : "Why were they driving motorcycles at 12:55am on New Years"?  In my opinion, you shouldn't drive a motorcycle at that time (or really anything if possible) on New Years, St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo.  I guess they'd been at a party, were invited to stay the night, but declined and left to go home because one of them said they needed to be at work the next day.  Now I find that kind of a weird reason as 1) the next day was a Sunday and 2) it was New Years Day.  As far as I know (I could be wrong), both of them worked out of their home and had their own businesses.  I just don't see a valid reason for them to drive at that time.  What harm would a couple of hours have done?

As for what caused the accident?  It could have been anything.  He could have swerved to avoid something and lost control, he could have hit something, he could have been involved in a hit and run.  We don't know at this point.  I don't know if alcohol was involved, mechanical failure or driver error.

Anyway, it all kind of sucks.  My family is all about having feuds, so I haven't been in much contact with that uncle over the past, I don't know how many years.  I saw him at a birthday party and at a funeral, I think last year.  He was always nice to me, but his and his wife's treatment of my family right before and after my grandmother died was inexcusable.  All of that doesn't change the fact that he was family and I'm sad that he's gone and I'm sad that his wife had to come upon him like that.  No one should have to find their loved ones mangled up. No matter how I felt about her.  Which, if you know me at all, you know my feelings in regards to her. 

Since there was a multitude of feuds going on, I'm not sure if there will be a funeral service or anything.  Information is kind of thin on the ground at this point.  Mostly third hand news and conjecture.  I hope they have a funeral and I hope my dad goes.  I think he wants to.  It was his brother after all.

You know, I really never thought he'd be the first of my uncles to die.  A couple of the others had lead much more dangerous lives up to this point. 

I feel like I should be a bit more broken up about everything.  As I said, I'm sad that he died, especially in such a horrible way, but I haven't been overwhelmed by grief.  A friend of mine told me she thinks that I bottle up grief as a mechanism to deal with it.  I'm not so sure.  I do however, feel really guilty about it and I've been remembering the family parties and barbeque's from way back when I was a kid, before everyone grew up.  Well, some of them never grew up.  :-)  I hope this guilt goes away soon.  I really don't care that much for it. 

Anyway, I feel for his daughter and the people he was close to.

It's a reminder to me that life can be taken away at any time.  Something to think about.

Robin