Just a quick blog to post some updates.

First of all, after about 4 months of studying (with maximum lock-down studying with phones turned all the way off, TV unplugged and no visitors over the past two weeks), I managed to pass my "Series 99 Operations Professional" licensing exam yesterday.  Hooray!  I get to keep my job.  It was a really difficult test covering every area of the retail investment business.  I really didn't think I would pass, so I'm extra glad I did.  I may take the Series 7 exam, but I haven't fully decided yet.  That's a monster SIX HOUR exam.  The one I just took was a three hour.  I don't know if I'd be able to sit and take a test for that long.

Next, I'm moving out of my apartment on November 15th.  I need to get some of my savings back after all the health care and other bills I've had over the past two years, I really need to get something back in the bank.  Luckily, my friend Samantha has a HUGE house, so I'm going to rent a room from her and her husband for about six months.  Her mom lives with them, as well as her daughter, so it won't be some weird three-person situation.  I'll probably move back to this area when I leave their place though.  I like this neighborhood.

Finally, it looks like I'm going to be going to one day of the Long Beach Comic Convention.  Probably Saturday.  It will be my first convention in over a year.  Samantha said she could go with me, so if that remains the case, I'll be going.

That's about it.  Not much else to report.

I had a really decent weekend.  Laundry, grocery shopping and baking were at the top of my list of things to do.  Spent the rest of the time trying to keep cool and exploring my streaming Netflix options.  Since I terminated my DirecTv service, I decided to reinstate my Netflix account so that I could stream stuff through my Playstation.  You remember, the Playstation I just HAD to have a couple of years ago, yet I've only played three times? 

I had a Steven Moffatt Netflix weekend.  I watched "Jekyll", which I hadn't seen since it aired on BBC America a few years ago and then I watched all the "Sherlock" episodes they had. 

I also tried watching old Doctor Who episodes, but, to be honest, a lot of them were boring.  I did enjoy the "Three Doctors" though.  On a different note - I'd forgotten how funny "the Comic Strip Presents" was.  I used to have a few of them on vhs tape, but haven't watched them since the 80's.  "Five Go Mad in Dorset" and "Bad News" (kinda like Spinal Tap) were my favorites.  I watched "Five Go Mad in Dorset" on Friday and it still made me laugh.  It's odd that Netflix would have those episodes, but none of the Young Ones.

Anyway, I'm enjoying Netflix again.  It's neat to stream it and not have to mail discs back and forth.

On the work front - I've been trying to study to pass my Series 99 licensing exam.  It's really boring and I don't know if I'm smart enough to pass it.  I have until October to pass it....... fingers-crossed some of it sinks in!

I'm home sick today.  I started getting a migraine overnight and missed most of it, but not all of it. I think it's a mixture of the atmospheric pressure change, heat and other things that caused it.  I took my meds, but not in time and it sucks. I hate being home, especially when it's hot and my office has a/c and I don't.  Plus, it's boring. Feel bad for me. :-(

Gotham doesn't care that I don't feel well.  So, to summarize: My head's gonna explode, it's hot outside, I don't have cable, and my cat is ignoring me.

I'm going to visit my friend out in Riverside this Friday night thru the end of the weekend.  Hopefully it'll keep my mind off things.  We're going to go see Casablanca on Friday, which I've never seen.    Can you believe I haven't ever seen it?  I know it's supposed to be the best movie of all time, so I'm kinda looking forward to it.

Decided to bake in order to pass the time.  No comments on how the oven is going to heat up my apartment please.  I made chocolate chip cookies and now the zucchini bread / muffins are baking.  I don't know what it is about baking, but it always makes me feel better.  My head feels better already!

I heard there's some drama at work.  How is it that I always miss that stuff?  I'm still glad to be at home though.

Happy Birthday to Manny!

Tomorrow is the 4th of July.  It's going to be a quiet one.  Since it's during the week, I'm just going to hang out at home with my cat.

As we get closer to SDCC (next week), I'm finding that I'm having a really hard time with the fact that I'm not going.  Good luck to CBLMW.  I know you're nominated for an award or two.

Not much new to report.  I have to take tomorrow off from work.  I just found out that I hit the maximum vacation accrual back in March, so I haven't been banking any time since.  You'd think I would get a note or something.  Anyway, I'm taking the day so I can accrue a little bit.  Kinda pisses me off that I could have taken three days over the past few months and still be at the same place time-wise.  I didn't realize that the cap for employees over 10 years was six weeks.  Yes, I have six weeks of vacation saved up.  No need to comment on the fact that I never take time off. 

I terminated my Direct TV service as of the 26th.  I finally got fed up with their crappy customer service.  It started from the day I had them install everything at my current apt.  First they put in the wrong kind of dish, then they were going to leave it there and put the HD dish next to it.  I had to argue with them forever to get them to take out the one they put in by mistake.  Then I found out in December that, for a year and a half, I didn't have HD service I was paying for because they never installed the HDMI cable.  Since I've never had HD before I didn't know until there was a notice on my tv screen after an update.  Finally, in May I got an email saying that they just debited a payment and I thought, "that's weird, I just paid it".  So I called three times and finally got a nice lady who went over my account.  She credited my account for the extra HD payments and put in a priority credit notice to the bank for the extra payment they took.  She was so nice!  I waited two weeks and the credit never showed at the bank, so I went online to get the phone number to call.  While I was online, I saw that the account credit had been taken back.  Weird!  So I called, went through the same thing, and finally got another nice lady who put everything back (after being on the phone for an hour and change).  This time I waited two days and checked my account.  They took it all back AGAIN!  Back on the phone.  This time the woman I got was rude and told me that the extra payment wasn't extra because it would have been due anyway and then wouldn't give me a reason as to why they wouldn't credit me the HD service overpayments.  I told her to terminate the service.  She had the gall to try and sell me different packages!  I don't even really watch TV anymore and I'd already told her that.  For over an hour I fought with her.  I told her to send the boxes  for the receivers now because I wasn't going to change my mind.  She still kept trying to sell me packages.  I told her that the only way I would keep the service would be if they returned everything they took.  Not an option apparently.  Then she said "Are you going to leave us for another provider?"  Was she kidding?  Was she going to try and twist this to look like I was leaving because I got a better deal elsewhere?  BAAAAAH!  Weird thing is, while I lived in Koreatown, I had the best service with them.  For 9 years they were aces.  It wasn't til I moved to the Valley that it all went to hell.

Oh well, like I said, I don't watch TV much anyway.  I can always hook up my laptop to my TV (with the HDMI cable that I bought for my Direct TV), and watch TV online.  If I do decide to get cable back down the line, I'll probably go with the provider I have for my internet.  I checked, and for what I paid for my basic Direct TV, I can get my internet and HD cable.

My friend gave me a ticket to go see Keane tomorrow night, so I have that to look forward to.  Should be fun.  Not much else going on.  Apart from picking up my contact lenses Saturday, I don't have any plans. 

I've been doing a lot of painting the past few months.  Nothing spectacular or anything.  I usually end up covering what I've done with white paint and re-using the canvas.  I've also tried to make a few stencils and things like that.  Since the things I paint freehand have to be abstract, I've decided that using stencils can help me paint other things I'd like to hang on my walls.  You know, flowers and stuff.  I had been using plastic page protectors, but my friend Deanne gave me all sorts of stuff to use to make really good stencils for my birthday.  Martha Stewart brand and everything!  I also got some gold leaf I want to try out.  Hey, it fills the time!!!!  I've also uesd printed drawer liners and framed them.  Believe it or not, they actually look kinda nice.  I drew a black silhouette of a cat on one of them.  It's not perfect, but it will do for now (untill I can draw or trace a better one!).  I would like for it to look like Gotham, but the tail came out too fluffy-looking.  The ink kept bleeding, so I had to do something to disguise it.

I need to go to thrift stores and look for more frames.  I don't think there are many near me.  I'll have to look into that.

I need to get cat litter too.  Maybe I'll do that on my days off.  If I can handle the excitement!

I know, I've been horrible about posting stuff (as always).  People were expecting me to blog something for my birthday last week and I let you down.  Sorry.

So, birthday.  Yeah.  I turned 42 and it came and went with no pageantry.  I went out to lunch with Sam, which was really nice.  Then I went home and did a load of laundry and that was it.  My dad called and sang to my voicemail, which I get a kick out of every year.  I got an email from a sorority sister of mine (shut up, yes I was in a sorority) that I hadn't heard from in a couple of years.  She's working here in downtown, so we're going to try to get together for lunch.

My best friend came out the day after my birthday and we went to dinner at the tavern around the corner from my place and then she took me (as a surprise) to see the musical "Fellowship" (based on "Fellowship of the Ring").  It was playing over at the old Steve Allen Theatre.  It was really funny.  I really needed some laughs and it provided a ton of them.  If you have the chance to see it, please do!  The whole cast is hilarious, even the understudy who played Aragorn was awesome.  As a "celebrity" bonus, Cedric Yarbrough from Reno 911 plays Gandalf and Galadriel.

I have an update on the work front, I interviewed for a new position here at the office.  I probably won't get the new job, but I felt like it would be stupid if I didn't even bother to interview for it.  Talk about weird!  I haven't really interviewed anywhere for 12 years.  I was very rusty and it was really scary.  You guys know about my self confidence issues, it's kinda hard to convince someone that they should hire you when you don't have any confidence in yourself.  It was good to do though.  I really like and respect the people I met with.  The new job would be really hard and more along the lines of what I did before my current position, but for more people.  My hours would probably be different (no more getting up at ungodly hours or taking the train to work in the dark) and the pay would be better.  Anyway, I don't want to jinx it.  Keep your fingers-crossed for me though.

What else is going on?  Not much.  I've been keeping a really low profile as usual.  Been broke, so keeping close to home every day.  I've been working on a few paintings, not really happy with any of them.  I'm going to add some gold leaf to one this weekend.  The gold acrylic paint I've been using doesn't "pop" enough.  I've never used gold leaf before, so it should be an interesting experiment.

What's up for the weekend?  Sam has been kind enough to lend me Bugsy Malone, so I'm probably going to watch that tonight while I'm doing laundry.  I saw it in the movie theatre when I was a kid, I hope it's as good as I remember.  Other than that and working on the paintings, I need to clean the apt and color my roots.  In other words, not a whole heck of a lot is going on at Casa Robin.  I might add grocery shopping to the mix, just to keep it interesting.

Have good weekend you guys.

Okay, last time I blogged, I was in medical appointment and DMV hell.  Results:  I passed my DMV test (yay) and came through all of my other tests with flying colors (bigger YAY!).  It looks like my skin cancer has decided to not come back.  I have five more horrible looking tags (one on my neck, shoulder, left chest area, and one each on my calves).  They're healing better than the last round, so hopefully the scars won't be bad.  I'm running out of skin to test!

I got my new drivers license from the DMV almost exactly two weeks after I took and passed the test.  Where was I day before yesterday?  At a different DMV taking a new photo.  The one I took in Pasadena made me look like a member of the Manson Family.  I was trying not to sneeze and my eyes were all bugged out and it was super-close up.  Everyone at the DMV who saw it laughed at me.  And the thing is, I HAD to show it to them or they weren't going to let me take a new picture.  If I would have asked for a new one, they would have just sent me the same thing in the mail and I would have had to pay $25 for the privilege.  I was NOT going to live with that picture for five years!  I told the gal who took my photo that she could do anything she wanted with my picture, as long as she didn't make me look like THAT (holding up the new license).  She laughed (of course) and said "Why is it so close up?".  She took two, I guess I was looking too "high" in the first one (not sure if she meant high as in up a level or high as in stoned).  I don't care how it turns out, it has to be better than the one they sent me.

I had both an eye appointment and a hair appointment yesterday.  Eye appointment went fine.  I came home with two new sets of contacts to try.  He did all sorts of tests, so I couldn't really see when I left.  Luckily, no traffic on the way home!  I got home well before I'd planned to, so I asked if they could bump my appointment up a few hours.  I got over there and promptly spilled water all over the floor and knocked into the table with all the magazines on it.  I wouldn't let them clean up my mess, so there I was, on my hands and knees mopping up water, apologizing.  It sounded like a lame lie when I told them I couldn't see.  When I showed them my eyes, they said I was lying and was, in reality, high (they were joking).  After we got all that squared away, I went to the chair to consult with my stylist (sounds so posh!).  I probably shouldn't have appointments when it's hot outside.  She had two photos for me of ideas she had for a cut.  I told her "Fine, they look good.  Just make sure I can put my hair back in a ponytail when it gets really hot".  "Are you sure?  This is a lot of length to cut off".  "Go ahead, if I don't like it, it will grow back".  She cut off FIVE, almost SIX inches!!!!!!!!!!!!  It looks fine, but it's weird not to have hair past my shoulders anymore.  I guess I got my money's worth!

Gotham's face cancer flared-up one month early.  I have to take him into the vet tomorrow morning at 9am.  More vet bills!  yay!  Who needs to eat anyway?  I was starting to put on weight and could use a break from all those calories.  Dumb cat didn't even get me a Mother's Day card and I'm always spending money to keep him healthy.  BAH.

Because I'm broke, I'll be spending the weekend at home doing laundry, cleaning and other chores.  I had a gift certificate for Amazon, so I bought Season Two of the Rockford Files and it should be arriving today.  It will be me, Jim Rockford and Gotham all weekend.  If I'm honest, I can't say I'm too thrilled.

Happy 56th Birthday to Midnight Oil Guitarist Jim Mojinie!  I'm listening to the Oils as I type this!  They're a big part of the soundtrack to all my memories.  Many happy returns!

I looked at my calendar and I've got a sick day scheduled for tomorrow.  Four doctors appointments and one DMV appointment.  I'm probably going to get home later than normal, which seems wrong for a day that I'm not going to be in the office.

I got the confirmation yesterday.  My request to return my SDCC 4-day membership pass was accepted and processed.  I no longer have a pass.  I'm not going for the first time in 12 years.  I find this whole thing terribly sad.

Well, I finally sucked it up and sent an email this morning asking Comic-Con how I go about returning my 4-day pass (that I waited in line for what?  8 hours for last year?).  I hope it's not too complicated, I just want to get it done and over with.  I was up a good portion of the night last night, unable to sleep.  That gave me time to think, why was I procrastinating?  Why don't I just return the damn thing and get it over with?  There's no way that I'm ready to face going and I doubt I will be in July either. 

You know, it was 12 years ago when I had my pivotal "coming out" moment.  I was 30 years-old and finally decided to stop hiding the fact that I loved comic books and superheroes from my friends, family and co-workers.  I'd been keeping it a shameful secret for years and years.  One day I got a postcard in the mail (I have no idea how they got my name and address) that advertised that the passes were now on sale.  Something clicked in my head.  "I'm going to go!".  I went to my first Comic-Con in San Diego a couple months later and I loved it.  I absolutely loved it.  Back then I drove back and forth each day, which was nuts.  It was worth it though.  It felt so nice to be with thousands of people just like me.  People who understand that those stories ARE literature.  They ARE an important part of our culture.  They AREN'T just cartoon pictures and dumb stories.  The talented people who were able to make careers in the comic book industry got so much of my respect.  The writers that managed to come up with fresh, interesting, relevant, topical and important story lines month after month were beyond phenominal to me.  I wish I had that talent!  Then there were artists that managed to make everything look amazing.  To be lucky enough to have that as your career of choice?  Wow.  Everyone behind the scenes, well they did more stuff than I could go into here, but they are just as important.  Maybe more so.

Those days in July turned into the only real vacation time I took off from work each year.  I looked forward to it every July.  "Where would I stay?  I hope I can get in to the Sofia again!"  "Should I take the train or drive down?".  I was confident in my hobby, my passion.  I would start to get excited every year around this time.  I can't describe the feeling.  I would gladly debate anyone who thought it was stupid and just something for little boys.

Look at me now, I've packed up everything related to comics and hid them away so I don't have to look at them.  I haven't read a comic book in months and months and months.  I think my comic book shop finally took me off their list of people with pulls after I failed to show up so many times when I was supposed to come in and buy my books and update my list.  If I'm honest, I'm ashamed to admit to it.

Jeez, what happened to that strong woman?

It's been a while since I've posted (obviously).  Things have been, well to say it mildly, "turbulent" so far this year.  Not as bad as last year (no cancer so far!) , but it's got the potential.   I guess I should have known that 2012 wouldn't be "my" year since it started out with my uncle getting killed.  Not the best news to wake up to in a brand new year, even if I wasn't close to the guy.   I've lost a lot things and people this year, and it's only March.  I really treasure those people who are still in my life.  I may not say it, but I really do.

With such a bad start to 2012, I've tried just about everything I could think of to try and create a fresh start on my own.  I burned sage and took it around my apartment.  (They call that "smudging").  Did you know that stuff smells like weed?  I was told it might, so luckily I told my apartment manager what I was doing so she wouldn't think I was in my pad smoking dope.  Man, my apartment smelled like what I imagine Snoop Dogg's tour bus smells like around 2am.  That stuff reeks!  Seriously.  I had to air the place out and turn on fans to get rid of the smell.  It took days!!!!

I've also started to try Feng Shui.  According to the Bagua map, my relationship quadrant is in my bathroom.  OF COURSE IT IS!  I've had to change it from a 1950's blue and yellow to a 1950's light pink and blue.  Don't get me wrong, I really like the new color scheme, but I liked the old one better.  I'm willing to try anything at this point!  Plus it gives me something to do.  I also changed the colors in the bedroom.  It was kind of on the masculine side before (not really me or my taste at all, but it looked okay and everything matched sea foam green / brown / cream).  During the rains we had a couple months ago my roof leaked in the bedroom, right on the bed and comforter (staining it a rust color), so it was a good excuse to change things up a little.  I femmed it up quite a bit and I really like it.  Kinda "shabby chic" if I were to name the style.  Much more "me" than it was before.  Thank goodness I moved the bed about a foot when I was making the changes because in this last rain the roof leaked again (the repairs didn't take), so no damage to my new bedding.

Don't think I'm crazy (any more than you already do), but ever since I moved in to my apartment, everything has gone to hell.  I mean EVERYTHING.  Health, relationships, finances, friendships, work, everything.  What sucks is, I really like my place, where it's at, plus my neighbors are cool and I don't want to move (I can't really afford to move anyway).  I guess I need to do some more thinking about the situation.  I'm not moving back in with my uncle, that's for sure.   I'm not sure what my options are.  I really don't.  Like I said, I gotta think on it.   I'm not overly superstitious, but with everything that has gone wrong, there has to be another factor in the equation, it's not just me that's doing it.  I just don't know what I'm going to do about it.

What I do know is that I need to return my Comic Con membership one of these days soon.  I don't know why I haven't done it yet.  Conventions and comics aren't a part of my life anymore.  Those were the two things in my life that used to make me so happy and now I don't have them anymore.  It's my own fault and I have no one else to blame, but it still makes me terribly sad.  Maybe one day I'll be able to go back, but I doubt it.  I haven't found anything to replace them yet, but I'll continue looking.  I have almost a physical reaction when I see anything to do with comics.  I feel bad for my friends, I can tell they are walking on eggshells sometimes when they want to talk about new comic-related movies or if we see merchandise out in shops.  Plus, it severely limits the gift options at Christmas and on my birthday.  No more comic stuff.  I packed away every single comic-related item in my apartment.  The Alex Ross prints were the first to go (last February 2011), books are off the shelves, t-shirts are boxed up, action figures, games, paperweights and the Green Lantern bank have all been packed away.  My Christmas tree didn't have a single superhero on it this last year.  It looks so weird.  I've had to fill up the spaces left behind, so now my walls are a hodge podge of pictures and my shelves have some weird reading selections on them.  It's all so depressing.

The really crappy part of losing those two things is, as most of you know, outside of my core friends I'm really shy, painfully so.  The only time I ever  really got out and mingled in a public setting on a regular basis was when I went to conventions or to the comic book store.  I used to go to concerts, but those aren't financially possible anymore, so I have to give those a miss.  I literally have nothing to get me out of my apartment other than going grocery shopping or getting my hair cut.  I hope that if I don't show up to work one day that they'll send someone to my place before my corpse starts to smell!

I went to my last convention for the foreseeable future in February (Doctor Who).  It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a while.  I tried to put up a front and be happy and fun to be with, but I know I failed miserably and I am truly sorry for that (if my two friends who went are reading this, please know I still feel bad about about being a bummer, I tried, but  I know I failed to be good company).  It was heartbreaking for me to even be there, you have no idea........  At least it's over with. 

I've also still been off Twitter for months and months, other than to post that I posted this blog.  I don't find any joy in it any more.  Weird.

Well, to bring this post back to a positive note, Gotham is doing well.  His face issue reared its ugly head (no pun intended) last week, but we went to the vet and he got his shot and is doing fine.  He lost a pound, so he's down to 13lbs now.  HE'S NOT FAT!  He's long and lean.  All muscle!   Plus, he's still handsome.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my handsome little man bugging me all the time.  I asked the vet if every kitten in his litter had the same problem or if I just drew the lucky (and expensive) card.  he said they probably did, but he's sure that Gotham makes up for all the trouble in other ways.  He absolutely does!  I love that damn cat.  I love him so much, I'm going to put his picture in this blog (again).

Another positive thing - I found a new hair dresser.  That's good news, right?  The salon is a 6 minute walk from my apartment.  The gal who does my hair is the owner and is super-nice.  So nice in fact that I let her cut about 4 inches off the length of my hair this past appointment!  It was kinda too long and I really needed to get rid of some of the damage I caused when I bleached it blonde NYE 2010 / 2011.  My hair was fine until December, when all of a sudden, it started acting weird when I washed and dried it.  It wouldn't do what I wanted and then I actually saw some of it melt when I was drying it!!!  So in January, I started looking for a new salon.  I didn't want to drive out to Arcadia anymore (good move as my old hair dresser just announced she's moving to Boston to help expand her church....huh?  I knew she was religious, but not THAT religious!).  I found this place on Yelp and it had great reviews.  So good in fact that I booked my appointment the same day I found it .  Anyway, slowly but surely (this was my second appointment), I'll get all of the bad hair cut off and my hair will be just damaged from coloring it every month and the bleach mess will be gone.  My hairdresser told me that the reason my hair was acting funny was that it finally said "I've had enough of your nonsense, I'm playing your games anymore".  She taught me a new way to dry my hair and spent about an hour asking me questions.  That's key.  You know someone knows what they're doing if you get a good consultation.  PLUS she listened to me!  Someone on this planet actually listened to me!  Bonus!!!!  
Well, I guess that's it for me for now.  I'm not sure when I'll blog again.  I hope I wasn't too much of a bummer.  I tried to lighten it up a bit at the end.  :-)

Robin
PS: If you're reading this CBLMW, I thought about you on your birthday and I hope you had a truly magical day.

The new year started out in a kind of surreal way.  I was sitting, reading email on my phone when it rang around 8am (which is weird, because it rarely rings).  Anyway, it was my dad, which was also weird, because he rarely calls me, I usually call him.  We went through the usual pleasantries, you know, wishing each other a happy new year, etc.  We chatted for about 10-15 minutes when he asked if I was sitting down.  I was, so he told me that one of my uncles had been killed at 12:55am that morning.

I was stunned.  I asked what had happened and was told that he'd been driving his motorcycle a ways ahead of his wife, on the 5FWY North and had just made it to the 134FWY interchange and ended-up crashing into the center divider.  His wife had been communicating with him somehow through their helmets (I don't know anything about that stuff, so I have no idea how it works) and all of a sudden everything went silent.  Pretty quickly after that she came upon the accident scene.

My first question to my dad was : "Why were they driving motorcycles at 12:55am on New Years"?  In my opinion, you shouldn't drive a motorcycle at that time (or really anything if possible) on New Years, St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo.  I guess they'd been at a party, were invited to stay the night, but declined and left to go home because one of them said they needed to be at work the next day.  Now I find that kind of a weird reason as 1) the next day was a Sunday and 2) it was New Years Day.  As far as I know (I could be wrong), both of them worked out of their home and had their own businesses.  I just don't see a valid reason for them to drive at that time.  What harm would a couple of hours have done?

As for what caused the accident?  It could have been anything.  He could have swerved to avoid something and lost control, he could have hit something, he could have been involved in a hit and run.  We don't know at this point.  I don't know if alcohol was involved, mechanical failure or driver error.

Anyway, it all kind of sucks.  My family is all about having feuds, so I haven't been in much contact with that uncle over the past, I don't know how many years.  I saw him at a birthday party and at a funeral, I think last year.  He was always nice to me, but his and his wife's treatment of my family right before and after my grandmother died was inexcusable.  All of that doesn't change the fact that he was family and I'm sad that he's gone and I'm sad that his wife had to come upon him like that.  No one should have to find their loved ones mangled up. No matter how I felt about her.  Which, if you know me at all, you know my feelings in regards to her. 

Since there was a multitude of feuds going on, I'm not sure if there will be a funeral service or anything.  Information is kind of thin on the ground at this point.  Mostly third hand news and conjecture.  I hope they have a funeral and I hope my dad goes.  I think he wants to.  It was his brother after all.

You know, I really never thought he'd be the first of my uncles to die.  A couple of the others had lead much more dangerous lives up to this point. 

I feel like I should be a bit more broken up about everything.  As I said, I'm sad that he died, especially in such a horrible way, but I haven't been overwhelmed by grief.  A friend of mine told me she thinks that I bottle up grief as a mechanism to deal with it.  I'm not so sure.  I do however, feel really guilty about it and I've been remembering the family parties and barbeque's from way back when I was a kid, before everyone grew up.  Well, some of them never grew up.  :-)  I hope this guilt goes away soon.  I really don't care that much for it. 

Anyway, I feel for his daughter and the people he was close to.

It's a reminder to me that life can be taken away at any time.  Something to think about.

Robin